Friday the 13th: The Series second-season set out February 10, 2009 through Paramount Home Entertainment.  Tales from the Darkside’s first-season set is being released on the same day by the same company.

I know, Tales from the Darkside isn’t Canadian.  Still, it’s a great title to release, isn’t it?

There’s a market for classic horror anthologies, which is a shame as Tales from the Crypt is already out in its entirety.  Thriller has a first-season release.  Night Gallery’s second-season set came out recently.  There isn’t very far to go before Freddy’s Nightmares and Monsters get dredged up for DVD release.

Oh, here’s package art for the second-season set.  Care.

---

The Red Green Show’s eleventh season will be out February 24, 2009 instead of March 10, 2009.

In addition, here’s package art.  Wow, a new license plate and the same old picture of Red Green on the cover!  Acorn Media could do a better job of differentiating its Red Green Show season sets, but at least they’re out regularly.

---

Two new Goosebumps discs, “Return of the Mummy” and “The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight,” come out March 31, 2009 through 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment.  The discs are obviously popular, which begs the question of why Goosebumps isn’t released in season sets.  Scholastic Media sure does like to maximize Goosebumps‘ profit margins.

---

Lionsgate has a disc replacement program for the Fraggle Rock complete series set.  The lower-sitting discs sometimes dislodge during shipping.

This must bother Fraggle Rock fans even more than the fourth season not receiving a stand-alone DVD release.  When TVShowsonDVD.com calls your package design an “epic failure,” you know your company has done wrong.

---

The Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin gets a complete-series set courtesy of Mill Creek Entertainment.  While I never liked the series during the decade-plus Global endlessly reran it, I wish a better company was releasing this.  I wonder why anyone thinks this set will make money.

---

URBMN aStore.  Don’t forget to buy the This Hour Has 22 Minutes sets!  It won a Gemini for Best Comedy Series over Kenny vs. Spenny this year, which isn’t bullshit at all!  Really!

South Park is a bit late with its High School Musical parody.  Twilight is more trendy right now, and South Park just made fun of it last week.  I wonder why South Park didn’t take care of High School Musical two years ago, before the cancer became terminal.

Third-grader Bridon Gueermo (pronounced, uh, “queermo”) is forced to sing and dance by his father, but would rather play basketball.  To keep his son in line, Bridon’s father slaps him.  Mr. Gueermo, it should be noted, is an effeminate musical theatre fan.  Child abuse alone makes “Elementary School Musical” more realistic than High School Musical could ever be.

At first, Stan and the boys resist co-opting the High School Musical trend.  Stan, afraid of losing longtime girlfriend Wendy Testaburger to Bridon, jumps on the song-and-dance bandwagon.  Meanwhile, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny have become so unpopular that they start hanging around with lisping diabetic Scott Malkinson.  Mr. Gueermo is slap-happy until Bridon decides to man up and punch his father in the face.  Again, this is more realistic than High School Musical.

Bridon’s father essentially makes “Elementary School Musical.”  The man is a parody of the abusive-father-figure archetype, and he earns the biggest laughs in the episode.  Although Mr. Gueermo’s role is predictable, he makes up for this with nicely over-the-top movements.  The posters for A Chorus Line and Phantom of the Opera are a nice touch.

Scott Malkinson’s debut also has its moments.  Malkinson is instantly more entertaining than Craig Tucker, and Craig’s been around forever.  Malkinson’s lisp, diabetes and sensitive nature feed into Cartman’s mimickry of anything he says.  This character could become another Jimmy or Butters if handled right.

High School Musical deserves to be made fun of.  I’ve never seen the film or its sequels, but I’m as confused as Parker and Stone about the series’ popularity.  Even not knowing what the fuss is about, “Elementary School Musical” could have been funnier.  The Bridon subplot is a too-obvious inversion of High School Musical.  Even Cartman can’t save “Elementary School Musical” from mediocrity.

“Elementary School Musical” is eerily similar to last season’s “Guitar Queer-o.”  Both episodes revolve around a variation of “this trend is literally gay.”  Neither episode is more than sporadically funny.  The only difference between “Guitar Queer-o” and “Elementary School Musical” is that “Guitar Queer-o” was not as well-received when it aired last season.  Using the word “queer” is not shorthand for “instantly funny.”

High School Musical is almost too easy a target for South Park.  Mad Men and 30 Rock are higher fruit and need to be taken down a peg, especially in regards to Tina Fey.  I’m not one to suggest things for South Park to make fun of, but can the show lay off the low-hanging fruit for a while?  South Park’s fad-skewering episodes can’t be “Chinpokomon” all the time.

South Park has a much faster turnaround time than most series.  Less than 24 hours after Barack Obama and John McCain gave their post-election speeches, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone worked the speeches into “About Last Night…”  What’s more amazing is that the death of Obama’s grandmother is worked into the show without that coming across as a cheap joke.

The main plot deals with the aftermath of the battle between Barack Obama and John McCain for the American presidency.  Turns out they are working the angle (always workin’ the angles) to gain access to the Presidential escape tunnel under the White House.  Said tunnel is right underneath the Smithsonian, where the Hope Diamond is located.  A long-form heist film parody ensues.  Boom, baby!

The main plot sucks.  Sarah Palin’s playing the idiot to throw people off?  Obama’s grandmother and wife being in on the heist?  ”About Last Night…” doesn’t feel like South Park somehow.  One would figure that Ocean’s Eleven would be satirically eviscerated, but it isn’t.  Reverential treatment doesn’t fit South Park’s modus operandi.  Even “Major Boobage” distilled Heavy Metal to the one thing people liked about that film.

As usual, the B-story saves “About Last Night…” from mediocrity.  Stan’s father Randy Marsh gets drunk, loses his pants, tells his boss off and makes fun of McCain supporters.  Some of these supporters, like Butters’ father Stephen Stotch, hide in a bunker as McCain’s loss means the end of society to them.  Kyle’s brother Ike Broflovski, another McCain supporter, jumps off a first-story window ledge…or is he just workin’ the angles?

“About Last Night…” isn’t nearly as bad as season eight’s “Douche and Turd.”  The problem with “Douche and Turd” is that it isn’t specific to the 2004 United States election, basically dumbing things down to “illusion of choice.”  The message in “About Last Night…” is clear by comparison – even in hotly contested elections, electing/not electing an official isn’t the end of the world.

“About Last Night…” is a slightly disappointing episode of South Park based on the subject matter.  It’s an average-to-above-average episode overall.  Compared to “Pandemic 2 – The Startling,” this episode looks like Wayne Gretzky in his prime.  Randy Marsh is just funnier when he’s drunk.

Canadian content: Unsub is one of Stephen J. Cannell’s Vancouver-produced series.  I’m glad to see Make or Break TV find ways to meet CanCon regulations while still talking about American shows.  A show like Make or Break TV would work better in the United States, where there isn’t the need to limit the subject matter just for a cultural mandate.  I love Canadian regulatory laws.

Unsub has a good reputation among Cannell fans.  The Thrilling Detective Web Site considers Unsub one of the best things Cannell ever did, while SFF Net calls it underappreciated by all but a few people.  Renegade does not stir the same emotions in people.

Former NBC president Warren Littlefield is given intense face time on Make or Break TV.  The man made NBC a ratings powerhouse in the mid-1990s, but no wonder he was fired in 1998.  He’s such a smug, unlikable bastard.

Littlefield has a laundry list of excuses why NBC was skittish about Unsub, his excuses being variations on “I was expecting The A-Team/Hunter/Stingray” or “it made advertisers uneasy.”  It almost sounds like he wanted the show to fail.

Littlefield even complains about Unsub’s name – “is it a submarine? is it underwater?”  Hey Littlefield, what’s a seaQuest DSV?  Is it a quest?  Is it a sea?  Is DSV some guy’s initials?  Network executives must think people are mentally five.

I like how Littlefield says Unsub was not Miami Vice, the show Unsub displaced in February 1989.  Unsub’s debut episode, a lovely little number called “White Bone Demon,” made former NBC Entertainment president Brandon Tartikoff blanch when it was first screened for him, yet Unsub was green-lit and fast-tracked because Stephen J. Cannell.  Creative control is wacky!

Cannell is interesting to listen to.  The man knows what he’s talking about and obviously knows how to make a critically-acclaimed, successful show.  Even some of his critic-proof shows, like The A-Team, have gained a measure of respect years after their cancellation.  He’s as entertaining as Littlefield is stultifying.

There’s one thing Cannell does that surprises me.  He talks about Unsub being the most interesting show of 1988-89.  He says he gave Steven Bochco’s Hill Street Blues a run for its money.  Uh, Cannell, don’t you mean L.A. Law?  Hill Street Blues was cancelled in 1987.  Why does he mention Steven Bochco, of all people?

This episode of Make or Break TV is sloppily edited in places.  The Unsub clip used in the beginning of the show cuts the chosen dialogue off in mid-sentence.  There is a choppy edit from Stephen J. Cannell to MoBTV’s “where are they now?” wrap-up.  These are minor faults, which makes me wonder how quickly these episodes are produced.  I hope this is not the start of a trend.

I’d lament the lack of Cannell product currently on television, but many of his series – The Commish, Silk Stalkings, The Greatest American Hero, even Profit – are on DVD.  The A-Team and The Greatest American Hero have been turned into film properties.  It’s hard to escape the man.

Cannell will be around for at least ten more years, in one form or another.  He did create one of television history’s most enduring closing logos:

Ahhh, cheesy.

Doug Stanhope is one of the most underrated standup comics today.  His beer-drinking, chain-smoking, sexually perverse persona might seem like a gimmick, but it’s not.  He’s simply being himself on stage, venting in a “comedy-friendly format.”

The Comedy Network aired an edited version of No Refunds last night.  For instance, his “fuck the Jews” bit was cut down by The Comedy Network.  His special could have easily gone its full sixty-one minutes, but whatever.

Doug Stanhope is most compared to Bill Hicks.  It’s not an unfair comparison – Hicks is a Stanhope influence, and both have an aversion to organized religion.  Frankly, I judge Stanhope on how good he is compared to the other leading “honest” comics of his era – Lewis Black, Patton Oswalt, David Cross et al.

I prefer Stanhope to everyone else.  Stanhope has biting observations and a lack of caring whether anyone is offended by his comedy routine.  I don’t agree with a lot of what Stanhope says, but damned if he isn’t more genuinely insightful than a thousand Brian Regans.

Take that aforementioned “fuck the Jews” bit.  He’s more offended by people who define themselves by religious preference and/or nationality than anything.  The bit comes after Stanhope mentions being quoted out of context by the London Times while playing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.  Stanhope’s just filling a void he’s neglected for so long after offending Christians, Muslims and other religious types.

What I like about Stanhope is that he doesn’t mince words about his chosen lifestyle.  His “all religions are mind control” stance is in the tradition of George Carlin and Bill Hicks, but he has the talent to pull this stance off.  Stanhope might be an asshole, but he’s a funny asshole with valid points.

I’ll stop short of saying Doug Stanhope is the best standup comic of his generation.  On No Refunds, Stanhope openly wonders if he’s “out of shit.”  Since his standup hasn’t tanked on the level of Denis Leary and Dennis Miller, I doubt he is.  Stanhope could easily go another decade without losing his edge, he’s that in control of his discipline.  If No Refunds is any indication, he’s the most functional drunk since Robert Goulet.

When I first “relaunched” (read: updated on a regular basis) URBMN back in late September, I talked about CBC’s latest attempt at afternoon show fodder, The Point.  I had hoped that the show wouldn’t “go completely shit within the week.”  It didn’t.  It went completely shit within a few weeks.

I’ve given up on The Point.  Aamer Haleem is too eager to please.  The music doesn’t go beyond the currently hyped college rock/pop of the moment.  The panel discussions are inane.  In short, The Point is the typical overearnest CBC Radio One panel show.  Things that most annoy me about The Point:

Aamer Haleem calls The Point’s voicemail segment an “audio blog.”  It’s not an audio blog if public radio is the first place in which the segment appears, Haleem.  If The Point’s phone line counts as an audio blog, Cross Country Checkup has been liveblogging in audio since 1965.

On top of that, the “have your say, Canada!” voicemail segment seems lifted from Richardson’s Roundup/The Roundup.  It doesn’t even have a catchy phone number like 1-800-SAD-GOAT.  I’m sorry, 1-888-91-POINT doesn’t cut it.

Is this show supposed to be current affairs?  If it is, why the hell was The Point talking about who the best Bond was when I listened to it on Friday?  The show devoted a week to “who’s the best Bond?”  That’s important to anyone?

Topics like the online selling of secondhand burial plots are what I hate most about The Point.  The story is just a public relations stunt made legitimate by CBC Radio One.  The segment comes across as glib and doesn’t tie in well to the larger issue of global financial uncertainty.  At least when The Agenda with Steve Paikin covers current affairs, it doesn’t try to sugarcoat its topics.

I prefer CBC’s specialist shows, like White Coat, Black Art and Quirks & Quarks.  While those shows are sometimes personality-driven, they’re at least about something.  The Point is about nothing.

The Point is yet another one of those shows where the format is built around the host, rather than the host fitting the format.  The Point suffers from The Hour Syndrome, wherein a younger host tries to make CBC programming more “hip.”

This tack fails most of the time, since the antithesis of being cool is trying one’s ass off to be cool.  Also, the “younger, hipper” hosts tend to push 40 and aren’t that cool in the first place.  Why does CBC Radio have such a conservative programming strategy?  Did you know CBC Radio used to have a horror program way back when?

One day CBC Radio will figure out how to market to a younger audience without aping college radio and/or trying too hard to appeal to “the kids.”  It sure as hell isn’t going to happen with The Point.

Press release for The Border’s first-season DVD.  True story – when I received the press release it had this in it:

WHITE PINE BOILERPLATE HERE

Good job editing the template, VSC.  The company does good work, don’t get me wrong, but one usually doesn’t see placeholders in finished press releases.  I’m sure White Pine Pictures was thrilled to see that.

---

Life With Derek sampler DVD out February 10, 2009.  I hate sampler discs – they end up in $5 bargain bins and landfills.  I hope these DVDs are recycled if they don’t sell, otherwise it’s a waste of plastic and aluminum.  Shit knows I’m beyond sick of those Trading Spaces samplers and five hundred copies of Kid Paddle.

---

URBMN BOILERPLATE HERE

---

The Red Green Show’s eleventh season out March 10, 2009.  The eleventh season, a/k/a “the 2001 season,” is where the show starts to show its age – Patrick McKenna comes back to the show after a long-enough absence, but somehow he’s not as funny as before.  Acorn Media still has three more seasons to go until The Red Green Show completely bottoms out.

No Smith & Smith/Smith & Smith’s Comedy Mill DVDs on the horizon, though.  Is that a good or bad thing?  I know Smith & Smith has its detractors, but the show ran forever on CHCH.  If Hilarious House of Frightenstein is worthy of multiple DVD sets, so is Smith & Smith.

---

The Georgia Straight mentions ReGenesis in its latest article on new DVD releases.  The Georgia Straight is a Vancouver, British Columbia newspaper, yet it needs to mention ReGenesis‘ Canadian status.  I love this country.

---

Blogcritics.org review of The Red Green Show’s 2000 season.  What can I say, it’s been a dire week for Canadian TV-on-DVD news.  When the most exciting news is a Red Green Show release that won’t come out for another four months…well, I don’t know how to finish that sentence with a proper ending.  Here’s a clip from Smith & Smith.

---

Don’t forget to visit the URBMN aStore, as I love blatant shilling!

Wow, eight episodes and Make or Break TV has finally figured out how to do a proper transition!  That’s good.  The “would Show X stay on for another year” lead-outs came across as forced.  It’s about time MoBTV improved its transitions.

EZ Streets showed characters in shades of grey, told intricate stories and had great cinematography.  It featured Joey Pants, d/b/a Joe Pantoliano.  It had the full backing of Anita W. Addison and Leslie Moonves, two powerful CBS executives.  Les Moonves was the president of CBS Entertainment in 1996, so he obviously felt EZ Streets was going to hit big.

CBS didn’t know what it was doing with EZ Streets.  EZ Streets‘ two-hour pilot, sensibly aired after an episode of Touched by an Angel on October 27, 1996, earned limbo-low ratings.  The second episode, aired three days later, fared just as well.  CBS overreacted, killed the show and relaunched it in the spring of 1997.

More great scheduling followed, as EZ Streets – a show where every episode is crucial to its overall plot – picked up where it left off.  The ratings improved, but not enough to justify the effort spent on EZ Streets.  Paul Haggis’ brainchild died its second death after six more episodes.

This episode of Make or Break TV is not as good as last week’s, as Haggis and Gene Stein are not nearly as fun to listen to as Savage Steve Holland.  Luckily, MoBTV doesn’t have to sell EZ Streets like it did The New Adventures of Beans Baxter.  To be honest, the show sells itself.

Haggis has had a spotty career as a showrunner – he created Due South, a Canadian/American co-production.  It lasted two inglorious years on CBS but fared better on Canadian network CTV.  Family Law eked out three seasons on CBS from 1999 to 2002.  Michael Hayes lived out the 1997-98 season, but didn’t salvage David Caruso’s career as CSI: Miami would years later.

Haggis returned to television after winning the 2006 Best Picture Oscar for Crash.  The Black Donnellys would last six episodes on NBC before being relegated to NBC.com.  Haggis’ newest show, Crash, is the first original scripted drama for pay TV service Starz.  Time will tell how that series fares.

Perhaps Haggis can’t run a show to save his life.  He’s been at the helm of many niche shows, but his main claims to fame are EZ Streets and co-creating Walker, Texas Ranger.  He plays down that part of his career, but creating a well-liked Chuck Norris vehicle is nothing to sneer at.  If anything, he should be playing down his scripts for Heathcliff and The Scooby and Scrappy-Doo Puppy Hour.