Long day for me.  Let’s get right to what you love: highlights.

APTN has recently released its September 2010 schedule, as it debuts its 2010-11 season.  Of note is its Tuesday night schedule, which begins on September 7:

9:00 PM ET: The Candy Show
9:30 PM ET: Bionic Bannock Boys
10:00 PM ET: CAUTION: May Contain Nuts
10:30 PM ET: Arbor Live

CAUTION: May Contain Nuts and Arbor Live are in their second seasons.  Bionic Bannock Boys and The Candy Show will make their debuts.  Arbor Live is the only non-comedy, though The Candy Show and Arbor Live are both variety shows.

CMCN‘s second season has already debuted, albeit in the form of two episodes aired during the Olympics.  In the meantime, CMCN has posted material to Funny or Die.

I have reviewed Bionic Bannock Boys‘ pilot.  I’ll probably give the show another look, just to see if BBB has improved since then.  There are a couple of trailers for the show, found here and here.

As for The Candy Show, I was actually surprised to see CBC News mention it back in April 2010.  Host Candy Palmater has done some pieces for CBC Radio One’s Definitely Not the Opera, which I don’t hold against her.

Arbor Live features mainstream acts like Joe Satriani and Velvet Revolver alongside aboriginal artists, though the musical guest lineup is rather disjointed.  Eric Schweig is on the show for some odd reason.

At the same time, CBC doesn’t mount shows like Arbor Live.  Joe Satriani and Velvet Revolver aren’t the freshest of acts to feature on a music variety show, but at least APTN tries.  When was the last time CBC mounted an actual variety show?  ZeD?  Rita and Friends?  Devin Townsend would be perfect for a variety show.  I’m just saying.

As mentioned on APTN’s Twitter account, Blackstone will receive an eight-episode season.

Neither APTN nor Prairie Dog Film & Television have officially announced the series order, aside from APTN’s Twitter post.  No time or date has been set for Blackstone‘s series premiere.

Blackstone was one of the potential series in APTN’s Pick a Pilot project.  In my opinion, it is the best pilot to come out of that project.

Blackstone‘s pilot has good dramatic tension and incites controversy.  I’ve wanted for this show to become a series since it first aired.  Blackstone focuses on political corruption at a First Nations reserve, which is a tough subject to handle without being alarmist or heavy-handed.

I hope Blackstone isn’t watered-down from its pilot.  I’m honestly looking forward to it more than any other Canadian drama of 2010-11.  Blackstone has the potential to really mean something.

Addendum (July 12, 2010) | The media release for Blackstone, which has just been released, states that the show will air on both APTN and Showcase come “early 2011.”  No word on whether Blackstone will be simulcast.

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Wolf Canyon‘s fate is less clear than Blackstone‘s.  According to Wolf Canyon co-creator and writer Tim Stubinski, APTN has passed on Wolf Canyon as the sole first broadcaster of the series.

This doesn’t mean Wolf Canyon is dead.  Tricon Films and Television currently distributes the property, and is trying to sell other broadcasters on its merits.

APTN might air Wolf Canyon in a shared-first-window or second-window capacity.  In layman’s terms, APTN will team up with another network/cable channel or air Wolf Canyon secondhand.  Stubinski chalks this decision to “economics.”

Wolf Canyon made a killing at the 2010 Leo Awards.  The show won five of seven Leos, winning in every category it was nominated in.  The Leos apply to shows and films shot in British Columbia.

I’m sure Wolf Canyon will find another broadcaster.  Kevin Sorbo has his fans, while the Leos help the show’s cause.  WC even has a respectable rating on IMDb.  This show will find a home.

Keep in mind, Blackstone hit big at the 2010 Rosie Awards, winning in five categories.  The Rosies are to Alberta what the Leos are to British Columbia.  Whatever APTN’s doing, it’s working.

CAUTION: May Contain Nuts (APTN: airdates here) has been given a complete overhaul since its first season.  A live audience and studio sets have been mounted.  The opening and closing credits have been completely made over.  The insipid title hasn’t changed, but one can’t have everything.

The problem with CMCN‘s first season is that it’s a weaker variation of the shows it’s emulating, namely Human Giant and The Whitest Kids U’ Know.  While castmembers Howie Miller and Sheldon Elter are talented, the show is just there, a placeholder meant to attract viewers bored shitless by Saturday Night Zombie.

The second-season premiere shows definite improvement in CMCN‘s quality.  The show works better live-to-tape in front of an audience.  The castmembers are more comfortable, the overall presentation more energetic.  It’s like CMCN knows it needs to improve, and is acting on that initiative.  I’m impressed.

Miller and Elter are the stars of CAUTION: May Contain Nuts.  This isn’t due to APTN’s aboriginal focus, as non-native Matt Alden is head writer.

The non-native castmembers aren’t as distinctive for some reason, aside from James Higuchi.  On any other comedy network, Miller and Elter would still be key castmembers.  They give CMCN so much of its personality.

The sketches themselves are a mixed bag.  A “CMCN News” sketch is only notable for Higuchi giving the finger.  Miller’s standup routine is out-of-place, as he’s given only two minutes to talk about his literal McJobs.  There’s a reliance on hoary jokes, like cowboys and injuns trading each other in a “hockey” pick-up game.

“Reserve Dogs,” a sketch from CMCN‘s first season, is given a sequel.  Mr. Blonde has been replaced by Mr. Yellowcurry, an East Indian.  The sketch wields a heavy-handed message about the British historically treating East Indians and aboriginals wrong.  Ah, that subtle APTN humour.

Where the “Reserve Dogs” sketch excels is in its full-on Bollywood/Tarantino mashup.  That is a truly inspired moment, helped by a convincing dance routine and the fact that the sketch bleeds into the closing credits.  I sincerely hope CAUTION: May Contain Nuts has turned a quality corner.

This is the first of two CMCN episodes APTN will air during the XXI Olympic Winter Games.  The next episode will air February 21, 2010 at 11:30 PM ET on APTN East.  The odd scheduling must be due to APTN’s airing the Olympics, either that or APTN likes to play The Wacky Schedulin’ Game.

At least APTN doesn’t fill its Olympic broadcast time with tons of arse-stiffening filler between sporting events.  ARE YOU LISTENING, CTV?!  Wait, no, you’re not.

Wolf Canyon (APTN: Really Real Films, 2009) is a bit too generic to be on APTN.  The show is set on a reservation, and Lorne Cardinal plays a role on the show.  Despite this, Wolf Canyon feels like you could rip the “native” decals off and still have the same show.  This is Kevin Sorbo’s show, pure and simple.

Sorbo plays Rick Denham, a washed-up alcoholic actor.  Denham replaces former star Johnny Wilkes, who has found “greater” success as the star of an independent film.  Denham is also director Quincy Paul’s (Matty Finochio) estranged father.

Lorne Cardinal plays Hoyt Talbot Jr., the out-of-it stuntman.  Diane Wesson-Smythe (Nikki Payne) is the executive producer/Amy Poehler soundalike.  Carol Van Gleason (Barbara Tyson) and Samantha Hollis (Jessica Harmon) are the female cobreasts.

Denham and the other crewpeople try to stave off boredom while shooting on the Horse Head Lake First Nation reserve.  Wolf Canyon sets up a troubled production, somehow remaining in syndication despite itself.  Executive producer Allan Harmon cameos as a production executive who has technically cancelled Wolf Canyon, although the cancellation order is buried by the end of the pilot.

Wolf Canyon is a confusing mix of Corner Gas and 30 Rock.  It’s not as funny or biting as it should be, going for a broad gag every so often.  Sorbo playing a drunk asshole is surprisingly effective casting, but Wolf Canyon lacks a distinctive voice.

I’d rather see a full-on pisstake of cheap, syndicated Canadian television.  Shows like Beastmaster, Painkiller Jane and Blood Ties deserve the Kröd Mändoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire treatment.  Wolf Canyon‘s show-within-a-show deserves more air time, as the pilot barely scratches its surface.

Wolf Canyon‘s second episode is currently being written, as APTN mulls whether the show will earn a full season.  Kevin Sorbo has his cadre of fans, so this show’s a lock.  I’m not sure if failed pilots even exist on APTN.

Cashing In, a series set around a casino and the First Nation community that houses it, will begin its second season March 2, 2010 on APTN.  The show will air 8:00 PM ET on APTN East, and 8:00 PM MT on APTN West.

Cashing In aired on APTN and Showcase in March 2009.  Showcase has bowed out of airing Cashing In‘s second season, leaving APTN to go it alone.  Cashing In‘s second season will have thirteen episodes, a luxury compared to last year’s six-episode run.

Cashing In‘s USP is that the aboriginals running the North Beach Casino are, by and large, financially successful.  This talking point formed the basis for an article in The Walrus.  Canada is weird this way.

Cashing In is well-shot and at least competently acted.  The main problem with the first season is that it tries to tell too many stories in too little time.  Cashing In doesn’t click like it should, given its premise.

Cashing In is mislabeled as “dramedy.”  From what I’ve seen of the show, it’s more-or-less light drama with a few comedic moments.  People just call Cashing In a dramedy due to its thirty-minute time slot.

The show has never been a must-watch for me, but Cashing In has the potential to be better in its second season.  If nothing else, Eric Schweig is good in both this and Blackstone.  He needs to be more exposed in Canada.

Health Nutz | This show surprises me.  The premise – alcoholic inherits juice bar, but only on condition – sounds like it shouldn’t work.  Somehow, it does.

No, I didn’t learn from my experience with Life’s a Zoo.tv.  Shut up.

Kevin Loring is Buzz Riel Jr., a former hockey player and current heavy drinker.  He inherits part-ownership of the Health Nutz juice bar after Buzz Sr. (Paul Stanley) is run over by an SUV.  Buzz Jr. can only claim full ownership of said bar if he cleans up and goes sober, a habit Buzz Jr. is not willing to give up.  Smug entrepreneur Keith Harris (David Hamilton-Lyle) waits in the wings, hoping to obtain the Health Nutz property for condo development.

Loring doesn’t overplay Buzz Jr., although the script’s choice of profanity is odd (uh, “screwy Louie” and “rat turd?”)  The man is effective in portraying a couldn’t-give-a-shit attitude towards Health Nutz.  Chief Floyd Two-Rivers (Byron Chief-Moon) is just as good as Buzz Sr.’s right-hand man, trying to keep Riel Jr. from self-destruction.

Health Nutz doesn’t deal in cheap, easy humour, which I would normally expect from a show like this.  It’s a show about a juice bar, for crying out loud.  Writer/producer/executive producer Jason Friesen makes Health Nutz‘s premise believable, going for character-based humour.

This is the first APTN comedy I’ve seen where I’m actually interested in following the show.  Health Nutz isn’t going to be Cheers, but it’s one of the better things APTN has greenlighted.  I hope the actual series can match and/or exceed the pilot’s standards. Surprises like this don’t happen on Canadian television very often.

Bionic Bannock Boys | The Bionic Bannock Boys (Sean Dean, Cory Generoux, Keon Francis) let you know how aboriginal they are.  References to bingo, fried chicken and bannocks are copious.  You know you’re watching APTN when this show’s on the air.

Bionic Bannock Boys‘ pilot is a mix of corny humour and political commentary.  It’s an aboriginal version of CODCO spliced with Air Farce, if one can imagine such a beast.  I can see the show’s potential, but I also see a sketch about sasquatch phone sex.  Gorilla suit comedy does not work unless Benny Hill is involved.

Bionic Bannock Boys‘ pilot is a rough draft which needs refining.  While the show shouldn’t be too polished, Bionic Bannock Boys‘ pilot looks like a cable access show with national funding.  Maybe I’m too white to “get” the show, but Bionic Bannock Boys isn’t nearly as funny as it should have been.

Bionic Bannock Boys is going ahead as a series, so airing the pilot is a foregone conclusion.  I hope the series is better-mounted than the pilot, but I’m not holding my breath.

Tales of an Urban Indian will air Thursday, December 24, 8:30 PM ET on APTN East and 8:30 PM MT on APTN West.  APTN North will fling the show out December 26 at 11:00 PM CT.

The show is about First Nations actor Simon Douglas (Darrell Dennis), recently on-the-wagon and bothered by media stereotypes of Native people.  To combat this, Douglas becomes a documentarian.

Tales of an Urban Indian is based on Darrell Dennis’ play, which toured Off-Broadway earlier this year.  The play has existed in some form since 1999, although it’s only hit the American consciousness within the past year.  How the play will translate into a series, God only knows.

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The first episode of Health Nutz airs Sunday, December 27 at 11:00 PM ET (APTN East)/11:00 PM MT (APTN West)/11:00 PM CT (APTN North.)  Former hockey player/currently destitute Buzz Riel Jr. (Kevin Loring) inherits a juice bar from his father.  To keep the juice bar, Riel must stay clean and sober.  Hilarity is scheduled to ensue.

If Laura Mennell’s Facebook page is accurate, Health Nutz has already been picked up for six episodes.  Laura Mennell plays high-class pill/man popper Jennifer Noir in the pilot.  If Health Nutz has already made it to series, airing the pilot at 11:00 PM is odd scheduling.

APTN describes Health Nutz as “the juice-bar version of the hit sitcom Cheers…”  I love how APTN has to point out the hit series status of Cheers, a show which spent its final eight seasons in the Nielsen Top Ten.  I think APTN’s overselling Health Nutz a bit.

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I wasn’t sure if Wolf Canyon counted as an APTN pilot, but it does.  Kevin Sorbo is the name actor attached to the show, which threw me off.  Lorne Cardinal also has a role as Hoyt Talbot Jr.

The show centres around the cast of syndicated time filler Wolf Canyon, which Rick Denham (Sorbo) is the star of.  The object is to compare and contrast the fictitious Horse Head Lake First Nation reserve with production of a third-rate action series.

Kevin Sorbo is an interesting casting choice.  It reminds me of Alan Thicke’s role on jPod, in that Sorbo is playing the asshole version of himself.  Needless to say, Sorbo should know the world of syndicated fluff very well by this point.

Wolf Canyon will air Thursday, December 24, 8:00 PM ET on APTN East and 8:00 PM MT on APTN West.  APTN North will air Wolf Canyon December 26, midnight CT.