Sometimes the best programs on CBC Television are the pilots aired once, then dropped in the middle of the harbour.  The Cult (CBC: New Kingdom Productions Ltd./Crescent Entertainment/Big Dog Productions/Chokolat Inc./ITV?, 2008) is one such program, a drama unlike anything else currently on CBC.

Nathan Fall (Henry Czerny) is determined to retrieve his daughter Rachel (Alexia Fast) from the Apostles of the Second Son, a cult perverting(?) Christian mythology.  Nathan has not seen Rachel for five weeks, as he and soon-to-be ex-wife Evelyn (Torri Higginson) have neglected her.  Nathan plans to infiltrate the cult, which sells itself on television as New Eden.

The Cult also focuses on the life of Lucas (Richard Harmon), a teen living in what looks like a halfway house.  He notices the commercial for New Eden, of which Rachel is its figurehead.  Lucas is not initially aware of how New Eden will soon control his life.

Soon, Rachel speaks to Lucas through the television.  Lucas eventually sees rain and fish fall from inside the halfway house.  Could Rachel really be the second coming of Mary, Mother of Jesus, or is Lucas suffering from mental disabilities?  The Cult doesn’t answer this question, not that first episodes of serial dramas ever do.

The best thing about The Cult is that the show is ambiguous about Apostles of the Second Son’s intentions.  Apostles of the Second Son has allegedly been around since Christianity itself.  Outsiders who reveal the Apostles’ existence, like Dr. Frank Hollingshurst (Vincent Gale), tend to die.  The Apostles like to cover the bases for when the Rapture comes.

There’s been mention at TV, Eh? of The Cult, albeit confined to comments on a Republic of Doyle piece.  One commenter wonders why The Cult was passed up for Republic of Doyle.

I grant Republic of Doyle its existence, although I haven’t revised my thoughts on the show since its first episode.  Keeping RoD in mind, why would CBC pass on The Cult?  I see no reason why The Cult couldn’t work as a series, especially when Henry Czerny’s the lead actor.

Maybe I’m overhyping a pilot that has fallen through the cracks of government-aided obsolescence.  It happens.  Show co-creator Angus Fraser is responsible for The Movie Network/Movie Central’s 2005 series Terminal City, and it would be nice to see more Fraser on Canadian television.

Jeff Spriet and James Wilkes’ 11 Cameras was dumped on CBC’s summer schedule in 2006, and that show is surprisingly good.  The Cult‘s three creators can obviously spin something watchable, so why not let them do it?  Does Debbie Travis need a feel-good reality show so badly?

According to a VSC new release e-mail sent to retailers, The Border‘s third (and final) season will be out on DVD August 10, 2010.  The three-disc set will have an MSRP of $29.98 CDN.  Extras will include “Character Psychology Sessions” and “Behind the Scenes with Graham Abbey.”  The series finale will contain director and cast commentary.

The first two season sets of The Border will have their prices reduced to MSRP $19.99 CDN.  There are no mentions of Blu-Ray releases, at least according to the e-mail.

It should be noted that the release date isn’t final, as there is no formal press release for The Border‘s third-season set.  Hopefully, VSC won’t announce the third-season set a week before it streets, like it did for the second season.

CBC recently cancelled The Border after three seasons, due to less-than-stellar ratings on Thursday nights.  The show even ended on a cliffhanger.

Maybe the director and cast commentaries will reveal the reasons behind the cliffhanger.  The Border‘s days were numbered when it was moved to one of CBC’s worst-performing nights.  Then again, doing poorly on CBC Television doesn’t automatically mean cancellation.  They’re still making Little Mosque on the Prairie, so figure that one out.

In the year and change I’ve written about television for URBMN, CBC has never aired a standalone pilot that has gone on to become a series…until now.  B Team (CBC: Buffalo Gal Pictures/Company Name Here Productions/Vérité Films, 2009) has made series, as InSecurity.

I’m not sure if B Team is a preview of what will air on CBC in 2010-11.  If it is, then I don’t have hope for InSecurity.  B Team is an unfunny execution of a surprisingly good concept.

B Team is set at the Canadian Intelligence and Security Establishment, the fictitious government organization du jour.  CISE has functions similar to other spy agencies.  Alex Taylor (Natalie Lisinska) leads her team into mediocrity, though no fault of her own.

Alex is too nice, allowing herself to be pushed around by boss Janet Brown (Veena Sood.)  The pilot helpfully points out every character’s role and/or personality traits.  Karl Lesage (Rémy Girard) is The Civil Servant.  Burt Lancaster (Matthew MacFadzean) is The Wiener.  JoJo Lum (Jeananne Goossen) is The Translator.  Lisa Hampton (Carolyne Maraghi) is The Friend, and so on.

In B Team‘s pilot, Alex is stuck monitoring a Chechen shoe salesman.  Her job isn’t glamourous, as Alex’s ex-husband Peter McNeil (David Jones) leads the respected, well-funded team.  Alex’s team mistakes yellow plasticine used on the Chechen’s model train set as C4 explosives.

Peter’s team somehow interprets the model as prelude to a real attack, and the situation devolves from there.  The espionage part of B Team isn’t that strong, the show relying on an ensemble cast to carry it.  For an action-comedy, B Team contains very little action and tons of desk jockeying.

I respect B Team for its intricate plotting, but the pilot is just not funny.  It’s the typical CBC sitcom – predictable, no laugh track, underacted in places.  B Team‘s underlying concept is solid, yet there’s little in the way of satire.  Espionage should be rife with satire.  B Team has no excuse for being as weak as it is.

I want to like B Team, but I can’t.  It’s safe, bland and almost stereotypically “Canadian.”  It’s as if B Team wants to talk about surveillance, and yet avoid the issue altogether.  That’s like Pure Pwnage not showing Jeremy pwn n00bs.  I sincerely hope InSecurity isn’t as bad as B Team, as the pilot doesn’t afford me much hope.

It’s the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and CBC needs content during the lulls between playoff rounds.  That’s right, it’s CBC Pilot Burn-Off Time again.  Memory Lanes (CBC: Memory Lanes Productions LLC, 2009) aired last week, and I’m publishing the review the week after it aired.  I try to be timely.

Memory Lanes features Ryan Stiles and Sean Masterson prominently.  Stiles should be familiar to viewers as Lewis on The Drew Carey Show.  He is a main castmember on the British and American versions of Whose Line Is It Anyway?  Masterson is Stiles’ longtime friend, appearing on Whose Line Is It Anyway? from time to time.  The two are stars/writers/executive producers, as per CanCon carte blanche laws.

Memory Lanes‘ plot is simple.  Bud Murray dies.  His two sons, Ryan (Stiles) and Sean (Masterson), each obtain half-ownership of his heavily-mortgaged bowling alley.  Ryan’s life is the alley, while Sean is a successful restaurateur.  Ryan and Sean are diametric opposites.  You should know what happens next.  You’ve seen The Odd Couple, right?

Memory Lanes is very American in its approach – laugh track, eccentric supporting cast, some crude jokes, a young girl with ‘tude.  Memory Lanes isn’t outright poor like The Good Germany, but there’s nothing notable or funny about the show.  It’s a paint-by-numbers sitcom on a network more known for paint-by-numbers sketch comedies.

Janet Wright is the best actor on Memory Lanes, remembering the good ol’ days and better ol’ sex.  Wright makes horny ex-lounge manager character Sarah Duggen work, even though Duggen is more one-dimensional than a straight line.  Giancarlo Caltabiano is also notable as Chester Wallace, the loopy bathroom attendant.

Stiles and Masterson are…well, Stiles and Masterson.  They essentially play each other.  While Stiles is okay at straight acting, he’s more at home as an improv comedian.  Masterson I’m not sure about, as I’m unfamiliar with his prior work.  They’re at least acceptable as Memory Lanes‘ stars.

I don’t think Memory Lanes would rate a pilot if Ryan Stiles was removed from the show.  There’s nothing in Memory Lanes‘ concept or execution that makes me want to watch more episodes.  It makes me wonder what CBC passed up in order to exploit Stiles’ name value.  I’ve seen worse shows on CBC, but I can’t see what the network would pair Memory Lanes with.

Memory Lanes is one more reason why CBC Television needs a massive programming enema.  In an age where sitcoms are constantly evolving, CBC airs a throwback to the 1990s.  I’d like to say I don’t get the network, but I’ve felt that way since it cancelled The Vacant Lot.

Kevin Newman recently announced on his Twitter account that August 20, 2010 will be his last day as Global National anchor.  Newman has anchored the half-hour newscast since its debut on September 3, 2001.

Newman has been active in television broadcast news since 1981, initially in an on-air role for Global Toronto’s Sportsline.  Newman’s anchor credits include ABC’s World News Now (1994-97), Good Morning America (1996-99) and CBC’s Midday (1992-94.)

Newman’s Twitter post mentions “rest and renewal,” a sentiment The Canadian Press parrots.  I honestly think Newman means this.  He’s managed morning, afternoon, evening and late-night news shifts, picking up two Geminis, two Emmys and a Peabody in the process.  What’s left for the 50-year-old to do?

I don’t think Newman should return to news anchoring.  CTV News is too stuffy for his personable approach.  Nothing can save CBC News, now that it’s embraced superficiality.  American television news is mediocre at best.

Either Kevin Newman’s leaving Global at just the right time, or he’s leaving North American network journalism at the right time.  He’s a talking head, but a damned professional one.  Personally, I’ll miss Newman.

Being Erica and Flashpoint are currently in production on their third seasons.  Flashpoint currently airs on CTV and CBS, while Being Erica airs on CBC and SOAPnet.

CTV has not officially renewed Flashpoint for a third season, but it’s obvious the show will be back.  Its Canadian ratings are strong, so a third season is assured.

CBC won’t announce the bulk of its show renewals until May, although Bill Brioux has hinted at renewals for 18 to Life and Being Erica.  Being Erica‘s second season was watched by an average of 582,000 Canadian viewers.

The Cultural Post first mentioned production on Flashpoint‘s third season, while TCP and Mike’s Bloggity Blog have hinted at a renewal order for Being Erica.  The Cultural Post has Ontario Media Development Corporation’s ‘In Production’ page to back its claims up.  Mike’s Bloggity Blog has…”a very reliable email.”  Can you guess which site I actually respect?  Go on.  Guess.

As an aside, does CBC Television know how to cancel a show?  Despite poor-to-fair ratings, I doubt CBC will touch its comedy festivals, 18 to Life or Little Mosque on the Prairie.  When Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town can’t do better than The Rick Mercer Report‘s Friday rerun, something’s terribly wrong with the network.

EDIT (April 27, 2010) | Being Erica doesn’t start shooting its third season until May 17, while Flashpoint has been shooting since January 13, 2010.  I apologize for not clarifying this detail.

The Border has been cancelled by CBC after three seasons.  Etan Vlessing first mentioned the cancellation through The Hollywood Reporter on February 26.

CBC scheduled the third season of The Border after Doc Zone.  Doc Zone is a perpetually low-rated documentary block.  It’s a weak lead-in, despite Doc Zone being one of the most underrated hours on CBC.

The Border has never attracted great ratings.  An average of 700,000 viewers is decent for CBC, but The Border has never been a breakout hit.  This isn’t like CBC killing jPod or Wild Roses, now.

As for Republic of Doyle, the ratings are decent enough for renewal.  The show has dipped to around 500,000-600,000 viewers by now, but so has 18 to Life.  RoD‘s where The Border was two seasons ago.

As a result of Republic of Doyle‘s renewal, Shaftesbury Films’ Tangled will not make series.  Sarah Wayne Callies and Leslie Hope are in the pilot, at least according to an EW.com interview.

Callies is best known for her role as Dr. Sara Tancredi on Prison Break (2005-09.)  Hope is best known as Teri Bauer on Fox ratings behemoth 24 (2001-  .)  Hope also played Lisa Cohen on ABC’s short-lived Line of Fire (2003-04.)

I suspect Tangled will be tossed into a June timeslot of doom, a fate met by most unsold CBC pilots.  I’d rather see Jack Bauer’s dead wife and Dr. Tancredi‘s severed head than a Leah McLaren biopic.  Wouldn’t you?

The Hollywood Reporter‘s Etan Vlessing reports that The Ron James Show has been renewed for a second season.  CBC has also greenlit two new sitcoms, Men with Brooms and Insecurity.

Men with Brooms is based on the 2002 Paul Gross film, which tries to marry curling with blue-collar comedy.  The show will be produced by E1 Entertainment.  Insecurity will be mounted by Vérité Films, the company behind Corner Gas, Incredible Story Studio(s) and renegadepress.com.

The Men with Brooms pickup doesn’t surprise me, but it does bother me.  The film’s not that great, and I’d like to know how the hell a working-class male sitcom can be set around curling.  If Men with Brooms turns out better than a dreary, middle-of-the-road dramedy, I’ll eat Sugar Sammy.

I gave a pass to The Ron James Show‘s premiere, but the show is so aimless.  The Ron James Show has no format beyond “monologue, sketch, monologue, sketch, cartoon segment, Ron James utters polysyllables.”  Does The Ron James Show have a target audience?

The Ron James Show‘s not terrible, but it’s not good enough to warrant a second season.  Its ratings are fair-to-middling.  CBC should have greenlit Guerilla Monsoon and kept Ron James to specials.