In 2005, I called Comedy Inc. (CTV: fifth season premiered Saturday, June 12, 10:30 PM ET/PT) “relatively decent.”  In 2010, I recant that statement entirely.  I should have actually watched more than an episode or two of the show back in 2005, but URBMN wasn’t a television site back then.  That Comedy Inc. is still an ongoing concern amazes me.

Why does Comedy Inc. continue to be renewed when there is such passionate hatred for it?  Its cheapness doesn’t explain a five-season run.  History Bites is similarly cheap, and attracts its fair share of hate.  History Bites also has fans, since that show doesn’t talk down to its audience.

Comedy Inc. can make decent comedians like Winston Spear and Gavin Stephens look like they’re shit.  This isn’t very hard to do, as the show is made up of stand-up comedians performing sketch comedy.  Why is the show formatted this way when the format has never worked?  Even after five seasons, Comedy Inc. suffers from terrible timing.

The fifth-season premiere of Comedy Inc. is more of the same from this show.  The sketches are all obvious and/or rely on shock humour.  The comics overplay their roles.  Three sketches are the exact same “psychiatrist talks to animals” gag, with no variation.

The laugh track is pasted on, making the sketches seem even worse than they already are.  If you’ve seen Comedy Inc., you know how this show plays on television, and I feel for you.

Also, what is with that overbearing laugh track?!  It’s used on both Comedy Inc. and Comedy Now!  A 2010 show shouldn’t look and sound like a second-generation dupe of Royal Canadian Air Farce circa 1995.

I blame Sandra Faire for this show.  She’s the executive producer of both this and Comedy Now!  Ivan Fecan is president and CEO of CTVglobemedia.  Faire and Fecan are married.  It doesn’t take a genius to see the conflict of interest.  Even if Fecan and Faire keep business and personal relations separate, Faire doesn’t improve the quality of her shows.

The premiere episode of Comedy Inc.‘s fifth season has a 2008 copyright.  That’s never a good sign.  I guess CTV wants shot of Comedy Inc. once and for all.  Why even air the season, in that case?  Burn it off on Star! or something.  Don’t air Comedy Inc. on CTV, where people will watch it.

Comedy Inc. is the closest thing to welfare Canadian television offers.  I honestly hope this is the show’s final season.  If Comedy Inc. makes it to a sixth season, then there is no hope for the industry.

Being Erica and Flashpoint are currently in production on their third seasons.  Flashpoint currently airs on CTV and CBS, while Being Erica airs on CBC and SOAPnet.

CTV has not officially renewed Flashpoint for a third season, but it’s obvious the show will be back.  Its Canadian ratings are strong, so a third season is assured.

CBC won’t announce the bulk of its show renewals until May, although Bill Brioux has hinted at renewals for 18 to Life and Being Erica.  Being Erica‘s second season was watched by an average of 582,000 Canadian viewers.

The Cultural Post first mentioned production on Flashpoint‘s third season, while TCP and Mike’s Bloggity Blog have hinted at a renewal order for Being Erica.  The Cultural Post has Ontario Media Development Corporation’s ‘In Production’ page to back its claims up.  Mike’s Bloggity Blog has…”a very reliable email.”  Can you guess which site I actually respect?  Go on.  Guess.

As an aside, does CBC Television know how to cancel a show?  Despite poor-to-fair ratings, I doubt CBC will touch its comedy festivals, 18 to Life or Little Mosque on the Prairie.  When Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town can’t do better than The Rick Mercer Report‘s Friday rerun, something’s terribly wrong with the network.

EDIT (April 27, 2010) | Being Erica doesn’t start shooting its third season until May 17, while Flashpoint has been shooting since January 13, 2010.  I apologize for not clarifying this detail.

Sorry for lumping stories in like this.  I usually don’t, but Canadian television news hasn’t been this active since URBMN began talking about these shows back in 2008.  I’ve fallen behind a bit.  Apologies if you’ve read this before.

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Rookie Blue, the cop show formerly known as Copper, will debut Thursday, June 24, 2010.  The show will air on both Global and ABC at 9:00 PM ET/PT.

Rookie Blue focuses on five newbie cops learning the ropes in the generic world of “big-city policing.”  It is unknown whether the show will contain vomiting.

Rookie Blue is an odd name for a show.  Copper, while generic, makes more sense.  I guess ABC and Canwest are banking on people remembering NYPD Blue and Hill Street Blues.  This show has never had a good name.

Yeah, yeah, Cra$h & Burn, but that’s different.  See, the character’s named Jimmy Burn, and he’s an insurance claims adjuster.  The title fits the show.  What Canwest and ABC have done is swap ambiguities.  It’s like taking Cybersix and calling it A Girl and Her Panther.

I don’t have high hopes for Rookie Blue.  One doesn’t schedule a surefire hit in the middle of June.  At least the show’s out.  I hope it gets promoted.

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Living in Your Car will debut on HBO Canada Friday, May 7, 2010, at 9:30 PM ET/MT.  The show follows Steve Unger (John Ralston), a business executive charged with fraud, obstruction and racketeering.  After cutting a deal to escape prison time, Unger loses everything aside from his sedan.  This explains Living in Your Car‘s title and premise.  See how this works, Canwest?

Here’s a ninety-second preview of Living in Your Car.  Star John Ralston might be more familiar to viewers as Derek Venturi’s father on Life with Derek.  He also played Ming the Merciless on the 2007-08 Flash Gordon reboot.  Ralston gets around.

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Continuing with the subject of HBO Canada, NSI Canada has announced that Less Than Kind will get a third season.

It’s not a detailed story, and HBO Canada hasn’t formally announced a third season for Less Than Kind.  At the same time, I can’t see why the National Screen Institute would falsify the renewal of a show it helped develop.

Congratulations to Less Than Kind.  I thought the show would die after its second season.  It’s not often that I can write about a Canadian show’s renewal, rather than its untimely death.

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Two upcoming shows in the pipeline: CTV/Bravo!/Showtime’s The Borgias and Showcase’s Lost Girl.  Lost Girl is set to debut “Fall 2010″ (*snort* heard that one before), while The Borgias will air in 2011.

Lost Girl is in production.  It’s about a succubus on a path to self-discovery.  The Borgias, which is still in pre-production, is about the Italian/Spanish House of Borgia and its path to self-destruction.  I’m sure sex will feature heavily in both shows.

The Borgias‘ cast includes Colm Feore, Jeremy Irons and François Arnaud.  Director/screenwriter Neil Jordan (The Crying Game, Ondine) will write and direct The Borgias‘ first two episodes.

The Borgias intrigues me.  I hate The Tudors with a passion, but this show might be different.  Neil Jordan might focus The Borgias more on politico-religious themes than trying to sex up history for a premium-cable audience.  As long as François Arnaud doesn’t eat up scenery like Jonathan Rhys Meyers, the show will do fine.

I’m not as sold on Lost Girl.  It comes across as a gender-swapped Blood Ties.  If the show is a detective drama WITH DEMONS!, I’m bailing.

Horror, fantasy and sci-fi themes are invading mainstream television with increased regularity.  Supernatural, The Secret Saturdays, Ugly Americans, True Blood, Dead Set, Being Human…it gets to be a bit much after a while.

I’m not saying Lost Girl will suck, but the show might get lost in the shuffle.  Add to that Canwest’s wanting to turn its cable channels into virtual Global clones…on second thought, I don’t want to think about that.  I value my sanity.  I hate Canadian television so much.

Howard Bernstein of Medium Close-Up has posted a “very trustworthy rumour” (his words) that Lloyd Robertson will resign from his role as CTV National News anchor very soon.

Robertson has refuted the rumour, dismissing it as “a fascinating work of fiction” on CKNW’s The Bill Good Show.  The 76-year-old anchor insists that, contrary to Medium Close-Up’s assertion, he is not tired of the daily grind.

Lloyd Robertson is one of North America’s longest-lasting anchors, at least on a national level.  Robertson has anchored CTV National News since 1976, sharing the desk with Harvey Kirck until 1984.  He previously anchored CBC’s The National from 1970 to 1976.  The man is a Canadian broadcasting legend.

On the other hand, Robertson’s 76.  Robertson is a classy and durable anchorman, but I wonder how much time the man has left.  Robertson has to pass the torch at some point in the near future.

I should note that I do not watch CTV National News.  I find it too self-important.  I respect Robertson for his longevity, but network news broadcasts as a whole are obsolete in the digital age.  Robertson, Kevin Newman and Peter Mansbridge are all talking heads in the grand scheme of things.

CTV will debut its two post-Corner Gas sitcoms, Hiccups and Dan for Mayor, March 1, 2010.  Hiccups, the Brent Butt/Nancy Robertson sitcom, will air at 8:00 PM ET/PT.  Dan for Mayor, Fred Ewanuick’s chance at sitcom notoriety, follows at 8:30 PM ET/PT.  The shows serve as lead-ins for Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory.

CTV’s scheduling of Hiccups and Dan for Mayor is quite logical.  I’m assuming middle-of-the-road humour for both shows, which isn’t a bad thing if either show does well.  At least Hiccups and Dan for Mayor are paired with the right shows on the right night.  Nice one, CTV.

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The Bridge will debut Friday, March 5, 2010 on CTV.  The two-hour debut will air 9:00 PM ET/PT, The Bridge settling into the 10:00 PM ET/PT hour March 12.  Battlestar Galactica‘s Aaron Douglas is the marquee name.  The Bridge is a police procedural told from the union leader’s perspective.

American partner CBS has not yet scheduled The Bridge.  There’s a website, but no airdate.  This has led to at least one article wondering when CBS will air this and 18 Flashpoint episodes.

I might watch The Bridge for URBMN, although cop dramas are to this era of television what westerns are to the early 1960s.  At least CTV’s airing the show.  The Bridge could be Flashpoint, or it could be The Unusuals.  I’ll only judge the show after it airs.

TVShowsonDVD.com, acting on a tip by reader Katrina Willard, has posted the news that Sue Thomas, F.B. Eye will be on DVD by mid-October 2009.  The show, which aired on PAX (now Ion) from 2002-05 and on CTV from 2003-05, focused on deaf FBI agent Sue Thomas (Deanne Bray) and her training agent/line manager Jack Hudson (Yannick Bisson.)  The show’s unique selling proposition is Thomas’ ability to lip-read.

The TVShowsonDVD.com article doesn’t go into much detail, aside from the mid-October date on the official Sue Thomas, F.B. Eye Facebook page.  In sum, at least it’s out.

Reruns of Sue Thomas, F.B. Eye still air on CTV as perpetual filler.  Sue Thomas, F.B. Eye is an American-Canadian co-production with no distinct Canadian identity, but the show has its fans on both sides of the border.  Sue Thomas, F.B. Eye currently airs in America on AmericanLife TV Network and Gospel Music Channel.

Aside: The American version of Animal Planet syndicated Sue Thomas, F.B. Eye in April 2009.  In the show, Thomas has a hearing dog named Levi.  Apparently, that’s enough to fit the station’s modus operandi.  The show lasted two weeks on Animal Planet before being dropped.  Isn’t cable rot grand?

Warning: mild spoilers.

Defying Gravity (CTV/’A’/ABC, two-hour premiere August 2, 9:00 PM ET/PT; in regular timeslot starting August 9, 10:00 PM ET/PT on CTV/ABC; premieres August 7, 8:00 PM ET on SPACE) is an anomaly in the world of prime-time Canadian content.  The creator of the show, James D. Parriott, has run or co-run shows like Grey’s Anatomy, Sons of Anarchy and Ugly Betty.  He created Misfits of Science, Voyagers! and Forever Knight, so his sci-fi credentials are solid.

Michael Edelstein, meanwhile, was one of the original Desperate Housewives executive producers.  Less excitingly, he executive-produced Hope & Faith and Threat Matrix.

On the Canadian side, Omni Film Productions has produced such shows as The Odyssey, Edgemont, Alice, I Think and Robson Arms.  Defying Gravity is not as Canadian as The Listener, but it’s not quite an American show filmed in Vancouver to save money.  On the sliding scale of CanCon, Defying Gravity floats near the middle.

Defying Gravity has been publicized by Parriott as Grey’s Anatomy in space, which has birthed a million unfunny Grey’s Astronomy jokes.  The show also takes a strip off Virtuality‘s “reality show in space” concept.  It’s an attempt to make science fiction appeal more to women, or at least that’s the excuse offered.

The excuse is insulting.  Defying Gravity tries to balance sci-fi with relationship drama.  Big deal.  Doctor Who, Being Human and Torchwood do it.  Any space opera worth shit is about compelling characters mixed with exciting action.  Sadly, Defying Gravity doesn’t hit the ground running, due to its insanely slow pace and familiar characters.

Maddux Donner (Ron Livingston) narrates the series, he of the “left crewmembers to die and needs to atone” backstory.  Zoe Barnes (Laura Harris) is carrying Donner’s baby – maybe – after a one-night stand, and could be gay.  Ted Shaw (Malik Yoba) is married to Eve Weller-Shaw (Karen LeBlanc), yet had a pre-launch affair with Jen Crane (Christina Cox).

Nadia Schilling (Florentine Lahme) is competing with Zoe for Donner’s affections.  Ajay Sharma (Zahf Paroo) goes batshit insane in the first half of the pilot despite being the most psychologically stable of the Antares crew, and so on, and so forth.

Livingston makes for an entertaining Donner, while Malik Yoba is decent as Shaw.  Dylan Taylor’s character, the geeky porn enthusiast Steve Wassenfelder, could be the dark horse of the ensemble given time.  If nothing else, the main characters are engaging in the way that The Listener‘s Craig Olejnik wasn’t.

The main problem with Defying Gravity‘s pilot is that the science fiction and soap opera elements are not blended in very well.  The crew’s backstories are a little too pat and the show is too earnest to be “sexy.”  Defying Gravity isn’t actively horrible, but it’s obviously picking and mixing genres in an attempt to chart its path.

At the same time, Defying Gravity tries for more dramatic depth than the pilot can handle.  A Ganesa figure, placed on the Antares by Sharma at the end of the pilot’s first half, is obvious symbolism.  Defying Gravity is playing the field, attempting to be plausible sci-fi while dealing in “who fucked whom” tales.

The second half of the pilot is better-handled than the first.  There is some sex, but Defying Gravity keeps the focus on non-sexual relationships between the Antares crew.  That’s what I find interesting about the series.  I don’t care about the libido-killing HALOS suits or the attempts to ape Lost.  Gimmicks like that won’t ensure the show’s success.  Well-written characters will.

As it is, Defying Gravity is ABC’s Greatest Hits in Space.  I actually think ABC is doing the right thing in giving the show an early August timeslot, as the show could blow up right as the fall season hits its stride.  Parriott has his DNA all over ABC, so the network’s going to give him some attention.

If Defying Gravity fails, big deal.  Ugly Betty and Grey’s Anatomy are still going concerns, although Ugly Betty is on life-support at this point.  Canadian television can still pin its Yank-baiting hopes on The Bridge and Copper, since cop procedurals are as numerous as copies of Super Mario Bros. 3.  As for Edelstein…eh, maybe he’ll revive Brandy and Mr. Whiskers as a sex-filled romp.  It couldn’t be worse than Wipeout.

The 2009-10 season, for most specialty stations and the broadcast networks, is weak in the homegrown TV show department.  Although I’ve only seriously talked about Canadian television since the 2008-09 fall season, very few Canadian shows set to debut in 2009-10 draw my interest.

I don’t know if this is due to the sluggish economy, a sea change in broadcasting vs. the Internet, or Canadian television needing to be there regardless of quality.  It has to be the conventional television business model.  It’s broken, you know!  Canwest can only afford to fill one network with American shows instead of two this year!  Also, buy a new GM car or truck!  It’s not going out of business, it’s getting down to business…by wasting money on unconvincing ads!

I don’t think there’s one new piece of CanCon on the Canadian network prime-time schedules that I can get excited about.  There are a few returning programs I can get behind, Less Than Kind leading that pack.  Cable is where the big boys play at this point, so I’ll try to whip up a few articles making fun of SPACE’s and TVtropolis’ schedules in the coming days.  I have to make up for recommending Hotbox somehow.

CityTV | The only worthwhile Canadian shows on CityTV this fall are Less Than Kind and Murdoch Mysteries, both returning shows.  What the hell, CityTV?  My RONA Home?  Ford Models Supermodel of the World Canada?  This is the best the network can do?

I’ll admit Conviction Kitchen has potential.  The show’s high concept is Hell’s Kitchen with criminals.  I’m just not sure the show will be any good.  I’m also not holding out for a third season of Less Than Kind once the second-season episodes have been burnt off.  Jesse Camacho will survive, but I doubt his show will.

There’s been talk about the lack of Canadian film representation on CityTV, but that’s just one of CityTV’s problems.  CityTV’s attempts at Canadian television are depressing enough.  CityTV should at least be able to compete with Canwest and give the greenlight to more than branded reality shows.  I’m not saying CityTV turned shit once Rogers took over, but I sometimes wonder if CityTV knows what it’s doing.  Wait, of course it does.  I mean, Jay Leno!

CTV/‘A’ | If Dan For Mayor is successful, Fred Ewanuick will become more well-known than he is now.  As it is, he’s “that guy from Corner Gas and/or Robson Arms” if he’s known at all.  His face is more recognizable than his name.  Ewanuick’s celebrity could meet Brent Butt’s the way his career trajectory is going.

I know how pithy the last sentence reads.  It’s Canadian television.  Just run with it.

I’m sure one of the two shows following in the wake of Corner Gas will be successful.  If both DFM and Brent Butt’s Hiccups do well, I won’t be surprised.  Corner Gas brought in the ratings, so there will be much interest in the follow-up projects.  That’s a rare quality in Canadian television.  Hey, one of the two shows might be genuinely funny.  Who knows?

As for returning shows, Degrassi: The Next Generation is back for some reason.  There’s a spinoff film attached to the show’s ninth (!!) season, which is weird as the show is dragging its ratings ass.  Flashpoint‘s back, like no one saw that coming.

Basically, CTV and ‘A’ are staying the usual CTVglobemedia television course – tons of hit American programs, with some CanCon to fill the cultural quota.  CTV’s central strategy hasn’t changed for years.  It’s the most-watched Canadian network, a fact CTVglobemedia endlessly trumpets.  I wish a network in this country could air something more exciting than So You Think You Can Dance Canada, but Canada, you know?

Global | Global’s literally coasting this year as Canwest prepares for bankruptcy and/or reorganization.  As such, its new fall shows are all American.  Shows on the immediate fall lineup include what’s left of The Guard, renegadepress.com and reruns of The Jane Show.

Seriously, three-year-old reruns of The Jane Show are worthy for a spot on the 2009-10 fall lineup?  Since Saturday night is the graveyard of network television, throw out uncensored episodes of Billable Hours or move 16X9 from Sundays.  No one’s going to notice what Global flings out on Saturday night.  Air The Line, something, anything.  The Jane Show, honest to God…

CBC | Momco should be able to do better with its new programming than Canada’s Super Speller and Battle of the Blades.  CBC is horrible at reality programming – The Week the Women Went, Triple Sensation, How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?, it’s one big ball of there.  CBC does have Dragon’s Den, but it can hardly take the credit for porting that show over from Japan.

As for new shows, I have to admit a mild interest in The Ron James Show, Republic of Doyle and 18 to Life.  I say mild interest as the show I really want to see, Death Comes to Town, won’t air until after the 2009-10 season.  If any new CBC show can break through the culture of bland until Death Comes to Town, I’ll be happy.  I’m not holding my breath.

Returning shows on CBC are familiar enough – Little Mosque on the Prairie, This Hour Has 22 Minutes, The Rick Mercer Report, The Border, The Hour etc.  The lineup could be worse, but it could be better.

SUN TV | Argos Access.  That’s it as far as new programs go for SUN TV.  The station technically isn’t network, but what the hell.  Independent television stations in Canada aren’t easy to come by these days.

Here’s an idea, CBC: why not pick up the tab for King Kaboom‘s second season?  Those Toronto-centric criticisms will continue in stead, but that’s going to happen any time an intern drops a pencil at the Canadian Broadcasting Centre.  It’s not like SUN TV knows what to do with King Kaboom.  I pick on SUN TV, but it really should try harder.

E! | Ahhahahaha…