Health Nutz | This show surprises me.  The premise – alcoholic inherits juice bar, but only on condition – sounds like it shouldn’t work.  Somehow, it does.

No, I didn’t learn from my experience with Life’s a Zoo.tv.  Shut up.

Kevin Loring is Buzz Riel Jr., a former hockey player and current heavy drinker.  He inherits part-ownership of the Health Nutz juice bar after Buzz Sr. (Paul Stanley) is run over by an SUV.  Buzz Jr. can only claim full ownership of said bar if he cleans up and goes sober, a habit Buzz Jr. is not willing to give up.  Smug entrepreneur Keith Harris (David Hamilton-Lyle) waits in the wings, hoping to obtain the Health Nutz property for condo development.

Loring doesn’t overplay Buzz Jr., although the script’s choice of profanity is odd (uh, “screwy Louie” and “rat turd?”)  The man is effective in portraying a couldn’t-give-a-shit attitude towards Health Nutz.  Chief Floyd Two-Rivers (Byron Chief-Moon) is just as good as Buzz Sr.’s right-hand man, trying to keep Riel Jr. from self-destruction.

Health Nutz doesn’t deal in cheap, easy humour, which I would normally expect from a show like this.  It’s a show about a juice bar, for crying out loud.  Writer/producer/executive producer Jason Friesen makes Health Nutz‘s premise believable, going for character-based humour.

This is the first APTN comedy I’ve seen where I’m actually interested in following the show.  Health Nutz isn’t going to be Cheers, but it’s one of the better things APTN has greenlighted.  I hope the actual series can match and/or exceed the pilot’s standards. Surprises like this don’t happen on Canadian television very often.

Bionic Bannock Boys | The Bionic Bannock Boys (Sean Dean, Cory Generoux, Keon Francis) let you know how aboriginal they are.  References to bingo, fried chicken and bannocks are copious.  You know you’re watching APTN when this show’s on the air.

Bionic Bannock Boys‘ pilot is a mix of corny humour and political commentary.  It’s an aboriginal version of CODCO spliced with Air Farce, if one can imagine such a beast.  I can see the show’s potential, but I also see a sketch about sasquatch phone sex.  Gorilla suit comedy does not work unless Benny Hill is involved.

Bionic Bannock Boys‘ pilot is a rough draft which needs refining.  While the show shouldn’t be too polished, Bionic Bannock Boys‘ pilot looks like a cable access show with national funding.  Maybe I’m too white to “get” the show, but Bionic Bannock Boys isn’t nearly as funny as it should have been.

Bionic Bannock Boys is going ahead as a series, so airing the pilot is a foregone conclusion.  I hope the series is better-mounted than the pilot, but I’m not holding my breath.

Tales of an Urban Indian will air Thursday, December 24, 8:30 PM ET on APTN East and 8:30 PM MT on APTN West.  APTN North will fling the show out December 26 at 11:00 PM CT.

The show is about First Nations actor Simon Douglas (Darrell Dennis), recently on-the-wagon and bothered by media stereotypes of Native people.  To combat this, Douglas becomes a documentarian.

Tales of an Urban Indian is based on Darrell Dennis’ play, which toured Off-Broadway earlier this year.  The play has existed in some form since 1999, although it’s only hit the American consciousness within the past year.  How the play will translate into a series, God only knows.

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The first episode of Health Nutz airs Sunday, December 27 at 11:00 PM ET (APTN East)/11:00 PM MT (APTN West)/11:00 PM CT (APTN North.)  Former hockey player/currently destitute Buzz Riel Jr. (Kevin Loring) inherits a juice bar from his father.  To keep the juice bar, Riel must stay clean and sober.  Hilarity is scheduled to ensue.

If Laura Mennell’s Facebook page is accurate, Health Nutz has already been picked up for six episodes.  Laura Mennell plays high-class pill/man popper Jennifer Noir in the pilot.  If Health Nutz has already made it to series, airing the pilot at 11:00 PM is odd scheduling.

APTN describes Health Nutz as “the juice-bar version of the hit sitcom Cheers…”  I love how APTN has to point out the hit series status of Cheers, a show which spent its final eight seasons in the Nielsen Top Ten.  I think APTN’s overselling Health Nutz a bit.

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I wasn’t sure if Wolf Canyon counted as an APTN pilot, but it does.  Kevin Sorbo is the name actor attached to the show, which threw me off.  Lorne Cardinal also has a role as Hoyt Talbot Jr.

The show centres around the cast of syndicated time filler Wolf Canyon, which Rick Denham (Sorbo) is the star of.  The object is to compare and contrast the fictitious Horse Head Lake First Nation reserve with production of a third-rate action series.

Kevin Sorbo is an interesting casting choice.  It reminds me of Alan Thicke’s role on jPod, in that Sorbo is playing the asshole version of himself.  Needless to say, Sorbo should know the world of syndicated fluff very well by this point.

Wolf Canyon will air Thursday, December 24, 8:00 PM ET on APTN East and 8:00 PM MT on APTN West.  APTN North will air Wolf Canyon December 26, midnight CT.