Well, it’s that time again.  Since 2004 The UR Blog/URBMN has reviewed CBC Radio summer programming to the delight of…well, probably no one.  Longtime readers of mine, though, may have noticed how late I am in writing about the subject this year.  Simply put, I’m just not as interested in this summer’s programming as in previous summers.  I’ve accepted that CBC Radio One’s tastes just don’t jibe with mine, which is a shame as the network really is trying to improve itself lately.

This year there are at least two shows on the CBCR1 schedule (The Contrarians, So, You Think You’re Funny?) that sound truly interesting, but the CBC in general walks a fine line between the interesting and the inept.  I don’t care who’s on Freestyle – the format sucks and the show is just not good.  The One was an abject failure for both CBC and ABC, but at least George Stroumboulopoulos’ career remains intact.  Why is the CBC even airing kaiju films, anyway?  Wouldn’t it make more sense to air Godzilla films on an unaffiliated local channel, Drive-In Classics or CityTV?  Don’t even get me started on CBC’s increased reliance on Hockey Night in Canada – TSN has been picking at CBC Sports for some time and without Hockey Night in Canada CBC Sports would be crippled beyond repair, but how about trying to improve Hockey Night in Canada instead of relying on it to stand for the entire sports division?  Does anyone actually care about the Satellite Hot Stove?

It’s hard to be a CBC fan.  Hardcore fans will criticize the CBC when it tries to escape its niche, and whenever the network fails vehement critics will regularly take a strip off it for being a government-funded white elephant.  Maybe the problem really is with management.  The CBC hasn’t convinced me otherwise lately.  How can that network rely so much on George Stroumboulopoulos as a ratings draw?  The network is so incomprehensively weird in its programming strategies.

Socket
Season: first
Airs: Wednesday: 11:30 – noon/Saturday: 4:00 – 4:30 pm
How Radio One sells it: ‘Socket is a new show about the hottest new art makers in Canada. Whether it’s painters, sound and performance artists or the kids down the block who are re-making what we think of as art, Angela Antle will plug you into their innovative ideas.’

I despise this show with a passion.  The idea is good, but the execution…man, there’s nothing worse than hearing a story about an artist whose oeuvre revolves around Billy Bob Thornton and another story about an artist studying panties.  I know I’m not listening to Socket too objectively, but the show comes across as a half-hour wankfest.  If Socket‘s objective is to sell the listenership on the artist as down-to-earth and irreverent, it has failed.  Worse yet, Socket reaffirms the stereotype of postmodern artists as fairly unconvincing, self-insulated liars.  Maybe the show isn’t as bad as I feel it is – this episode at least sounds interesting – but it’s hard not to qualify my loathing for this show.  Maybe it’s because I’m helping build a house right now, but why do I need another reminder of the disconnect between my philosophy and CBC Radio One’s?  As soon as this show comes on, I change the channel to Classical 96.3 and never look back.

It’s nice that Definitely Not the Opera is cut down to a manageable two hours right now, but this isn’t much of a replacement for it.

Simply Seán
Season: second
Airs: Saturday: 10:00 – 11:00 am
How Radio One sells it: ‘One of our most popular hosts from last summer is back. Seán Cullen returns with more Saturday morning music and antics. His friends will drop by, he’ll play great tunes, he’ll offer summer survival tips and espouse his love for Canadian cheeses.’

I’ll give Simply Seán (is the accent a riff on The Colbert Report, by the way? Just wondering) credit, the show’s format is actually turning into something more than Seán Cullen playing stuff he likes.  There’s a man-on-the-street segment and Cullen’s periodically talking to his on-air staff is a plus.  If there’s one thing that bothers me about Simply Seán, it’s the way Seán Cullen links between songs.  He’ll play, just to give an example, The Strawberry Alarm Clock’s “Incense and Peppermints” and then go on about hippies taking the lyrics seriously.  That’s great, Cullen, you’re doing your stream-of-consciousness schtick on radio.  Now stop doing it so much.  At least he wins points for making fun of The Rheostatics’ bizarre song titles.

Without Cullen Simply Seán would be indistinguishable from any other music-oriented show on CBC Radio One.  Cullen’s carrying this format, to be sure, but he seems to be enjoying himself more this year and Simply Seán is strong enough as a show to do well on CBC Radio One’s fall schedule.  Still, Seán, playing The Strawberry Alarm Clock and not mentioning the Dick Clark-produced film that the band will forever be known for contributing to (1968′s Psych-Out)?  C’mon!  Warren’s freakin’ out at the gallery!

Subcultures
Season: first
Airs: Thursday: 9:30 – 10:00 am
How Radio One sells it: ‘Immerse yourself in the lifestyles of a growing number of people who find meaning in their lives by belonging to a subculture. From boxcar riders to crypto-zoologists, you’ll experience new ways to make human connections in a rapidly changing world with host and long-time subculture observer Hal Niedzviecki.’

To be honest, I thought this show was The Contrarians when I first heard it.  The Contrarians and Subcultures do share the same overall concept of highlighting the obscure, although The Contrarians seems to me like the infinitely better execution of said concept.  I’m not a Hal Niedzviecki fan – for some reason, I just can’t take seriously a man who rewrote Charlotte’s Web in fanzine style, no matter his other accomplishments – and the only episode of Subcultures I heard was about furries.

Subcultures was infinitely more objective in covering the nature of furry fandom than whatever MTV shits out about the subject, but the Internet has really killed the shock value of people who are obsessed about humanoid animals to a large degree.  There’s a huge difference between people who like drawing humanoid animals and the perversity of much of the furry community.  Frankly, the subject of furries bothers me to the extent that I can’t review Subcultures fairly at this point.  I don’t like Hal Niedzviecki’s lack of radio presence, but’s all I can say about Subcultures right now aside from the show being surprisingly dull. (no rating)

So, You Think You’re Funny?
Season: first
Airs: Thursday: 11:30 – noon/Friday: 7:30 – 8:00 pm
How Radio One sells it: ‘”So, You Think You’re Funny?” Wanna prove it? Belly up to the bar this summer with host Walter Rinaldi as he travels the country looking for new and emerging comedy talent. So, You Think You’re Funny? is a barroom variety show featuring stand up, musical comedy, sketch troupes, and anyone else who has “the goods” to get on stage and make Canada laugh.’

Not a bad outing for this show, actually.  As a comedy show, it’s above-average by CBC standards simply due to the fact that the comics covered on the show are fairly obscure and different from Russell Peters gurning on about his ethnicity.  Walter Rinaldi is amiable enough as host, and So, You Think You’re Funny? wisely keeps him in the background while highlighting local comedians and sketch troupes.  The show isn’t Comics!, of course, but So, You Think You’re Funny? is decent listening even when the comedians are as funny as leukemia.  So, You Think You’re Funny? is a simple idea, but sometimes the simple ideas work and it’s always nice to hear an “emerging talent” show on CBC Radio One that doesn’t have Lorne Elliott’s name attached to it.

As If
Season: first
Airs: Monday: 11:30 – noon
How Radio One sells it: ‘John Lagimodiere is a man on a mission. He’s a charismatic Métis journalist based in Saskatoon and he’ll spend the summer exploding myths, crushing stereotypes and shattering assumptions about life in this country. Think you’ve got it all figured out? As If! John will show you what his Canada is really like.’

Isn’t this show High Definition with a different host and concept?  It sure sounds like High Definition with a less engaging host (although John Lagimodiere isn’t bad, just that Don McKellar’s better) and Big Questions About Life as opposed to just Television.  High Definition having been yanked off the Radio One schedule rather suddenly earlier this year, As If seems like a weaker redux of the show.  It’s good that the Everything You Know Is Wrong concept is being used here, but the show I heard sounded like a bad episode of HBO’s Comedy Showcase with all that talk about sex and Getting Some.  Maybe I just heard a bad show.  Perhaps CBC Radio One is already ripping off its own recent concepts.  As If is better than listening to Shelagh Rogers, though, so that’s something going for it.

Will I do another one of these posts in the future?  As Tim McCarver said at the end of Not-So-Great Moments in Sports Take 3, “we’ll see.”  Not that Larry Merchant came out with a third sequel to his Not-So-Great Moments in Sports series, but that’s his problem, not mine.

Keep in mind these are preliminary reviews.  I know I need to be less accessible and ignore readers’ pleas for clearer language while I go on about how amazing the word “bloviate” is and start a contest about it.

Yes, I heard The Sunday Edition today.  I also listened to Siege of Hate and the Benümb/Premonitions of War split last night.  I’m complex.

Honestly, this is why I can’t stand CBC Radio’s attitude towards programming.  I have no problem with Michael Enright using the occasional ten-dollar word on The Sunday Edition, since that’s a part of his hosting style.  The Sunday Edition appeals to the highly educated blowhards of Canada and I can tolerate Enright’s pompous, look-how-intellectual-I-am attitude towards hosting.  Like anything CBC, though, the network ignores the crux of the argument posited by a listener – that Enright assumes the listeners are as intelligent as he feels he is, when it is his job as a host to describe intelligent concepts to the less knowing.  To that end, The Sunday Edition blows the argument off and starts some armchair etymologist contest where listeners look for obscure words to revive for a modern audience.  Just starting the contest would have been fine, but CBC just had to dismiss thoughtful negative comments about its programming while the iron was hot.  That’s just not scrumtrelescent.  Or cromulent.

This ties in to CBC programming as a whole.  Instead of disseminating intelligent concepts in a way that people of “normal” intelligence can understand, the listener is supposed to gravitate toward the concepts.  CBC programs sometimes take the attitude that the listener is dumb, and if he/she can’t understand and/or agree with what the host is saying the person’s a knuckle-scratching moron.  It’s the attitude I see with “pop culture” tastemakers all the time – if you like something other than what they think is cool, you’re a goddamn retard and should be sent in a concentration camp where your kind die in a fire like your heroes Great White.  I’m Right, You’re Wrong.  Shut Up.  Shut Up.  Shut Up.

That was a generalizing rant, of course.  I still don’t generalize as much as CBC Radio.  HYOOO!

O’REILLY ON ADVERTISING | I’ve only listened to eight or so minutes of the first program but it’s as good as I thought it would be.  See, the program works because Teddy O’Reilly has that rare CBC trait that I see from Bob McDonald on Quirks and Quarks and precious few other MomCo employees – he knows what he’s talking about, and he explains it to an audience in clear, concise language.  The show’s not without its faults – O’Reilly on Advertising feels like a long-form Definitely Not the Opera segment and O’Reilly is, at this point, a bit wooden as a host.  Still, one episode in and I honestly think this show could last a few years.  The show simply does not have the CBC homogeneity to it and Terry O’Reilly’s one of the best hosts I’ve heard from CBC Radio in years.  Hopefully the show won’t turn shit a few episodes in, which I honestly doubt it will. ¤ B+

SIMPLY SEAN | What the hell happened here?  So Simply Sean is an hour of Sean Cullen playing his favourite music?  This is it?  What a waste of talent.  I realize the show is early in its run yet, but the show is boring, to be honest about it.  The show feels like someone just went up to Sean Cullen, said “here’s CBC scale, go play your favourite albums” and that’s it.  The Summer Waves initiative this year feels incredibly conservative – this is the time of year where CBC Radio should be experimenting with programming, and the executives decide to fill the Go slot with what amounts to Sean Cullen’s RadioSonic.  Maybe it will improve in the coming weeks, but Sean Cullen has been more entertaining and funnier than this.  Let the man cut loose.  He has to be as bored with the format you gave him as I am.  He certainly sounds it. ¤ C

LOST AND FOUND | Not bad, not good.  Lost and Found is a show without a format, sure, but I’ll admit that it’s better than the Live 8 MORathon that followed – that’s not saying much, but the first episode of Lost and Found wasn’t bad.  The show’s deathly dull but an interview segment with Tom Green saved the first episode from total meaninglessness.  Tom Green seems like the genuine performer and person he is (although he’s made a lot of dumb decisions in the past, I can’t put that past him) and even though he’s selling a new book he didn’t come across as shilling or promoting himself, which of course he was.  Maybe my feelings on the man are coloured by his naming his book Hollywood Causes Cancer, but Tom Green is not a stupid man despite his cable show schtick suggesting otherwise.  The interview gave an insight into Green that Green’s cries of “BOOBY BOOBY BOOBY BOOBY” never could.  The rest of the show was filled with the event of some guy making 96 out of 100 free throws and other stuff.  WOW, WHAT ENTHRALLING RADIO.  EX.  CI.  TING. ¤ C

PROMO GIRL IN “THE CASE OF THE WASTED THIRTY MINUTES” | This whole show exists as an omnibus for a long-form contest, nothing more.  It’s a lazy way to fill thirty minutes, which ties in with this whole “CBC not trying hard enough to come up with decent summer programming” theme.  I despise this show with a loathing I’ve only ever had for What a Week and National Pastime.  CBC needs to try harder than this. ¤ F

FUSE | Bandwidth is a rather okay program – it’s not like the show is going to play Whitehouse or Sheer Terror but it’s better than the Radio 3 standard in that Bandwidth is local, while Radio 3 is mainly “let’s run through Exclaim! and Spin and see what ‘the kids’ are into.”  Fuse, though – see, the show only works if the subjects are different from each other, because the “pop singer meets pop singer but AH, THIS SINGER’S JUST A BIT DIFFERENT” format doesn’t work.  Most of the featured guests on the Fuse website are the typical CBC musical guests – Feist, Hawksley Workman, Mighty Popo etc.  The guy who wrote “Sugar Sugar” and some tone-deaf schlub from Three Gut Records aren’t exactly awe-inspiring musical guests, guys.  I refer to the Neil Young/Gary Numan model again, because this show needs to be more incorrigible with its format (and because Neil Young diddled with synths before, so it’s not a stretch for him to be paired with Numan.)  I’m not looking for matchups like DRI/Forgotten Rebels, but Randy and Tal Bachman?  How cheap are the executives at CBC Radio? ¤ C

TUNE IN TOMORROW AS I THROW MIDGETS OFF A BRIDGE!  FUN!  BLOVIATING!