As announced today at a Canwest press conference, Shattered will debut on Global as part of the 2010-11 fall season lineup.  It will be one of seven new shows in Global’s lineup, and the only Canadian show to make its fall schedule.  Hi, ACTRA!

Shattered is a cop drama starring Callum Keith Rennie as a homicide detective with multiple personality disorder.  It will air Fridays at 9:00 PM ET/PT.  The show was originally meant for Showcase’s 2009-10 season.  Canwest must have faith in the show, even considering the Friday timeslot.

As for cable fall debuts, Haven will air on Showcase Diva starting September 2, since a female-oriented digital cable channel is the best place for a show based on a Stephen King novel.  Lost Girl will debut on Showcase three days later, at 9:00 PM ET/PT.

I’m just going to link to the specialty debuts as regards reality fare.  It’s not that I’m lazy, but the two most hyped reality shows (Wipeout Canada and Top Chef Canada) air in the spring of 2011.

Canwest’s lineup has a few holes in it.  Where the hell are The Drunk and on Drugs Happy Funtime Hour and Producing Parker?  I’ll find out tomorrow, as I will attend the Canwest upfront video presentation.

Also…Cra$h & Burn on Showcase Diva?!  That makes as much sense for Showcase Diva as Haven.  Canwest just slays me at times.

I know I should be more on top of Canadian television news, but I’m a latecomer to this story.  The Drunk and on Drugs Happy Funtime Hour is currently shooting in Halifax, Nova Scotia, and has been since May 26.  Drunk and on Drugs… is Robb Wells, John Paul Tremblay and Mike Smith’s follow-up to Trailer Park Boys, like I really need to state this.

Less Than Kind‘s Maury Chaykin will guest-star as an actor hired to play a wacky German scientist.  Chaykin is filling in for Alex Lifeson, the man originally tagged to play the scientist.  Jay Baruchel, Pat Roach and John Dunsworth also make appearances in the six-episode limited series.

Baruchel’s easily Drunk and on Drugs…‘ hottest guest star, appearing in films like She’s Out of My League, How to Train Your Dragon and The Trotsky.  His climb towards the Hollywood mainstream can only help Drunk and on Drugs… – well, that and Baruchel’s winning CanCon brownie points for The Trotsky.

There’s nothing I can say about The Drunk and on Drugs Happy Funtime Hour that hasn’t already been said.  You’re either excited for Drunk and on Drugs… or pissed off since it’s not Trailer Park Boys.  Hell, maybe you’re both.  TPB-related projects cause conflicting reactions in people.

Sorry for lumping stories in like this.  I usually don’t, but Canadian television news hasn’t been this active since URBMN began talking about these shows back in 2008.  I’ve fallen behind a bit.  Apologies if you’ve read this before.

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Rookie Blue, the cop show formerly known as Copper, will debut Thursday, June 24, 2010.  The show will air on both Global and ABC at 9:00 PM ET/PT.

Rookie Blue focuses on five newbie cops learning the ropes in the generic world of “big-city policing.”  It is unknown whether the show will contain vomiting.

Rookie Blue is an odd name for a show.  Copper, while generic, makes more sense.  I guess ABC and Canwest are banking on people remembering NYPD Blue and Hill Street Blues.  This show has never had a good name.

Yeah, yeah, Cra$h & Burn, but that’s different.  See, the character’s named Jimmy Burn, and he’s an insurance claims adjuster.  The title fits the show.  What Canwest and ABC have done is swap ambiguities.  It’s like taking Cybersix and calling it A Girl and Her Panther.

I don’t have high hopes for Rookie Blue.  One doesn’t schedule a surefire hit in the middle of June.  At least the show’s out.  I hope it gets promoted.

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Living in Your Car will debut on HBO Canada Friday, May 7, 2010, at 9:30 PM ET/MT.  The show follows Steve Unger (John Ralston), a business executive charged with fraud, obstruction and racketeering.  After cutting a deal to escape prison time, Unger loses everything aside from his sedan.  This explains Living in Your Car‘s title and premise.  See how this works, Canwest?

Here’s a ninety-second preview of Living in Your Car.  Star John Ralston might be more familiar to viewers as Derek Venturi’s father on Life with Derek.  He also played Ming the Merciless on the 2007-08 Flash Gordon reboot.  Ralston gets around.

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Continuing with the subject of HBO Canada, NSI Canada has announced that Less Than Kind will get a third season.

It’s not a detailed story, and HBO Canada hasn’t formally announced a third season for Less Than Kind.  At the same time, I can’t see why the National Screen Institute would falsify the renewal of a show it helped develop.

Congratulations to Less Than Kind.  I thought the show would die after its second season.  It’s not often that I can write about a Canadian show’s renewal, rather than its untimely death.

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Two upcoming shows in the pipeline: CTV/Bravo!/Showtime’s The Borgias and Showcase’s Lost Girl.  Lost Girl is set to debut “Fall 2010″ (*snort* heard that one before), while The Borgias will air in 2011.

Lost Girl is in production.  It’s about a succubus on a path to self-discovery.  The Borgias, which is still in pre-production, is about the Italian/Spanish House of Borgia and its path to self-destruction.  I’m sure sex will feature heavily in both shows.

The Borgias‘ cast includes Colm Feore, Jeremy Irons and François Arnaud.  Director/screenwriter Neil Jordan (The Crying Game, Ondine) will write and direct The Borgias‘ first two episodes.

The Borgias intrigues me.  I hate The Tudors with a passion, but this show might be different.  Neil Jordan might focus The Borgias more on politico-religious themes than trying to sex up history for a premium-cable audience.  As long as François Arnaud doesn’t eat up scenery like Jonathan Rhys Meyers, the show will do fine.

I’m not as sold on Lost Girl.  It comes across as a gender-swapped Blood Ties.  If the show is a detective drama WITH DEMONS!, I’m bailing.

Horror, fantasy and sci-fi themes are invading mainstream television with increased regularity.  Supernatural, The Secret Saturdays, Ugly Americans, True Blood, Dead Set, Being Human…it gets to be a bit much after a while.

I’m not saying Lost Girl will suck, but the show might get lost in the shuffle.  Add to that Canwest’s wanting to turn its cable channels into virtual Global clones…on second thought, I don’t want to think about that.  I value my sanity.  I hate Canadian television so much.

Cra$h & Burn, Showcase’s first stab at an hourlong drama series, will partner with BBC Worldwide for international distribution of the show.

Cra$h & Burn will feature at the 2010 BBC Showcase, where potential broadcast and cable suitors will eye its nine-and-a-half hours.  Creator Malcolm MacRury and star Luke Kirby will attend the event.

Cra$h & Burn has just completed its first season on Showcase.  I wasn’t too high on the show when it debuted, but Cra$h & Burn has become very good in recent weeks.

The show has become more-or-less straight drama with comedic flourishes.  The writing is gutsy enough to (mild spoiler, kids) write off Dan Duran’s character near the end of Cra$h & Burn‘s first season.  It’s become a good fit for Showcase.

The deal with BBC Worldwide strengthens the show’s chances for renewal.  I hope Showcase isn’t stupid enough to cancel Cra$h & Burn, or put it up on blocks like it has Testees.  Speaking of which, whatever happened to Shattered?

As of today, Pure Pwnage has an exact airdate.  The show will debut on Showcase Friday, March 12, 2010 at 10:00 PM, for an eight-episode first season.

This site has mentioned Pure Pwnage before, and not much has changed since November 25, 2009.  Seven of ten behind-the-scenes webisodes are currently up at www.purepwnage.com/tv/ and showcase.ca.

Guest stars for Pure Pwnage‘s first season include Steve “Lips” Kudlow, Billy Mitchell and Kenny Hotz.  Not to niggle, but what does the lead singer/guitarist for Anvil have to do with gaming?

Canwest’s press release for Pure Pwnage describes what “to pwn,” “1337,” “n00b” and FPS mean.  That’s sort of lame, but at least Canwest doesn’t get Derek Harvie’s name wrong.  Oh, wait.

Uh…the press release doesn’t contain the phrase “surprise buttsecks.”  Hey, there’s a positive!  I knew I’d find one!

Cashing In, a series set around a casino and the First Nation community that houses it, will begin its second season March 2, 2010 on APTN.  The show will air 8:00 PM ET on APTN East, and 8:00 PM MT on APTN West.

Cashing In aired on APTN and Showcase in March 2009.  Showcase has bowed out of airing Cashing In‘s second season, leaving APTN to go it alone.  Cashing In‘s second season will have thirteen episodes, a luxury compared to last year’s six-episode run.

Cashing In‘s USP is that the aboriginals running the North Beach Casino are, by and large, financially successful.  This talking point formed the basis for an article in The Walrus.  Canada is weird this way.

Cashing In is well-shot and at least competently acted.  The main problem with the first season is that it tries to tell too many stories in too little time.  Cashing In doesn’t click like it should, given its premise.

Cashing In is mislabeled as “dramedy.”  From what I’ve seen of the show, it’s more-or-less light drama with a few comedic moments.  People just call Cashing In a dramedy due to its thirty-minute time slot.

The show has never been a must-watch for me, but Cashing In has the potential to be better in its second season.  If nothing else, Eric Schweig is good in both this and Blackstone.  He needs to be more exposed in Canada.

XIII: The Conspiracy, the France-Canada co-production which aired on NBC in February 2009, will be coming to DVD and Blu-ray February 9, 2010.  The miniseries stars Val Kilmer, Stephen Dorff, Jessalyn Gilsig and Stephen McHattie.  XIII: The Conspiracy will be released by Phase 4 Films for North American consumption.

XIII: The Conspiracy is based on the Franco-Belgian comic book series about an amnesiac searching for his past.  The miniseries centres around a conspiracy theory tied to the assassination of the President of the United States, Sally Sheridan (Mimi Kuzyk.)  XIII refers to a tattoo, the only thing identifying Dorff’s character.

XIII: The Conspiracy first aired on France’s Canal+ in October 2008.  In Canada, XIII: The Conspiracy aired on Showcase and Mystery TV.  I’m not even sure if Canwest aired XIII: The Conspiracy on Global.  XIII: The Conspiracy was announced for Global, but that was in the days when E! existed and Canwest wasn’t yet a crumbling media entity.

Considering Jay Firestone’s Prodigy Pictures helped produce the series, this is CanCon, albeit of the co-pro variety.  XIII: The Conspiracy isn’t bad, but it felt at the time like NBC’s belated attempt to cash in on the success of Fox’s 24.

A XIII: The Conspiracy regular series has been announced, although there’s not much information about the series beyond that.  If anyone knows more about XIII: The Conspiracy, please comment on this blog entry.  I won’t be convinced the series exists until XIII: The Conspiracy has a cable channel or network behind it.

Principal photography for Pure Pwnage will finish on December 3, 2009.  It began October 21, if show co-creator Jarett Cale’s Twitter account is accurate.  Pure Pwnage, founded in 2004 as a web series, will make its television debut on Showcase early in 2010.

The show is based around Jeremy/teh_pwnerer (Cale), a 26-year-old hardcore gamer/social fuckup.  To continue living in his mother’s basement, Jeremy must get a job.  Brother/filmmaker Kyle (Geoff Lapaire) documents Jeremy’s journey, as Jeremy tries to fux0r life.

Joel Gardiner reprises his web series role as FPS Doug.  Also in the cast are Melanie Scrofano, Simon Wong and Eli Goree.

Pure Pwnage‘s showrunner is Derek Harvie (Testees, The Tom Green Show.)  Catherine Tait (Chilly Beach) and documentarian Ron Mann are executive producers, with Davin Lengyel co-producing.

I haven’t seen the web series, so I can’t comment on whether Pure Pwnage went shit midway through its run.  All I care about is whether the television show will be better or worse than Cock’d Gunns.  This better not be the Hotbox-sized disaster of 2010.