I know I should be more on top of Canadian television news, but I’m a latecomer to this story.  The Drunk and on Drugs Happy Funtime Hour is currently shooting in Halifax, Nova Scotia, and has been since May 26.  Drunk and on Drugs… is Robb Wells, John Paul Tremblay and Mike Smith’s follow-up to Trailer Park Boys, like I really need to state this.

Less Than Kind‘s Maury Chaykin will guest-star as an actor hired to play a wacky German scientist.  Chaykin is filling in for Alex Lifeson, the man originally tagged to play the scientist.  Jay Baruchel, Pat Roach and John Dunsworth also make appearances in the six-episode limited series.

Baruchel’s easily Drunk and on Drugs…‘ hottest guest star, appearing in films like She’s Out of My League, How to Train Your Dragon and The Trotsky.  His climb towards the Hollywood mainstream can only help Drunk and on Drugs… – well, that and Baruchel’s winning CanCon brownie points for The Trotsky.

There’s nothing I can say about The Drunk and on Drugs Happy Funtime Hour that hasn’t already been said.  You’re either excited for Drunk and on Drugs… or pissed off since it’s not Trailer Park Boys.  Hell, maybe you’re both.  TPB-related projects cause conflicting reactions in people.

In the year and change I’ve written about television for URBMN, CBC has never aired a standalone pilot that has gone on to become a series…until now.  B Team (CBC: Buffalo Gal Pictures/Company Name Here Productions/Vérité Films, 2009) has made series, as InSecurity.

I’m not sure if B Team is a preview of what will air on CBC in 2010-11.  If it is, then I don’t have hope for InSecurity.  B Team is an unfunny execution of a surprisingly good concept.

B Team is set at the Canadian Intelligence and Security Establishment, the fictitious government organization du jour.  CISE has functions similar to other spy agencies.  Alex Taylor (Natalie Lisinska) leads her team into mediocrity, though no fault of her own.

Alex is too nice, allowing herself to be pushed around by boss Janet Brown (Veena Sood.)  The pilot helpfully points out every character’s role and/or personality traits.  Karl Lesage (Rémy Girard) is The Civil Servant.  Burt Lancaster (Matthew MacFadzean) is The Wiener.  JoJo Lum (Jeananne Goossen) is The Translator.  Lisa Hampton (Carolyne Maraghi) is The Friend, and so on.

In B Team‘s pilot, Alex is stuck monitoring a Chechen shoe salesman.  Her job isn’t glamourous, as Alex’s ex-husband Peter McNeil (David Jones) leads the respected, well-funded team.  Alex’s team mistakes yellow plasticine used on the Chechen’s model train set as C4 explosives.

Peter’s team somehow interprets the model as prelude to a real attack, and the situation devolves from there.  The espionage part of B Team isn’t that strong, the show relying on an ensemble cast to carry it.  For an action-comedy, B Team contains very little action and tons of desk jockeying.

I respect B Team for its intricate plotting, but the pilot is just not funny.  It’s the typical CBC sitcom – predictable, no laugh track, underacted in places.  B Team‘s underlying concept is solid, yet there’s little in the way of satire.  Espionage should be rife with satire.  B Team has no excuse for being as weak as it is.

I want to like B Team, but I can’t.  It’s safe, bland and almost stereotypically “Canadian.”  It’s as if B Team wants to talk about surveillance, and yet avoid the issue altogether.  That’s like Pure Pwnage not showing Jeremy pwn n00bs.  I sincerely hope InSecurity isn’t as bad as B Team, as the pilot doesn’t afford me much hope.

It’s the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and CBC needs content during the lulls between playoff rounds.  That’s right, it’s CBC Pilot Burn-Off Time again.  Memory Lanes (CBC: Memory Lanes Productions LLC, 2009) aired last week, and I’m publishing the review the week after it aired.  I try to be timely.

Memory Lanes features Ryan Stiles and Sean Masterson prominently.  Stiles should be familiar to viewers as Lewis on The Drew Carey Show.  He is a main castmember on the British and American versions of Whose Line Is It Anyway?  Masterson is Stiles’ longtime friend, appearing on Whose Line Is It Anyway? from time to time.  The two are stars/writers/executive producers, as per CanCon carte blanche laws.

Memory Lanes‘ plot is simple.  Bud Murray dies.  His two sons, Ryan (Stiles) and Sean (Masterson), each obtain half-ownership of his heavily-mortgaged bowling alley.  Ryan’s life is the alley, while Sean is a successful restaurateur.  Ryan and Sean are diametric opposites.  You should know what happens next.  You’ve seen The Odd Couple, right?

Memory Lanes is very American in its approach – laugh track, eccentric supporting cast, some crude jokes, a young girl with ‘tude.  Memory Lanes isn’t outright poor like The Good Germany, but there’s nothing notable or funny about the show.  It’s a paint-by-numbers sitcom on a network more known for paint-by-numbers sketch comedies.

Janet Wright is the best actor on Memory Lanes, remembering the good ol’ days and better ol’ sex.  Wright makes horny ex-lounge manager character Sarah Duggen work, even though Duggen is more one-dimensional than a straight line.  Giancarlo Caltabiano is also notable as Chester Wallace, the loopy bathroom attendant.

Stiles and Masterson are…well, Stiles and Masterson.  They essentially play each other.  While Stiles is okay at straight acting, he’s more at home as an improv comedian.  Masterson I’m not sure about, as I’m unfamiliar with his prior work.  They’re at least acceptable as Memory Lanes‘ stars.

I don’t think Memory Lanes would rate a pilot if Ryan Stiles was removed from the show.  There’s nothing in Memory Lanes‘ concept or execution that makes me want to watch more episodes.  It makes me wonder what CBC passed up in order to exploit Stiles’ name value.  I’ve seen worse shows on CBC, but I can’t see what the network would pair Memory Lanes with.

Memory Lanes is one more reason why CBC Television needs a massive programming enema.  In an age where sitcoms are constantly evolving, CBC airs a throwback to the 1990s.  I’d like to say I don’t get the network, but I’ve felt that way since it cancelled The Vacant Lot.

This is hardly news to the KitH faithful, so I’ll only give the basic details.  Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town will air in America on IFC, which is rebranding itself as a more comedy-centric, “offbeat” network.

Death Comes to Town is part of the 2010-11 broadcast slate, which includes The Onion News Network and The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret.

IFC has previously aired The Jon Dore Television Show.  The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret is a British show with a Canadian costar.

I’m not bragging, by the way, about Canadians who have Made It in America^®.  I’m just stating that Americans will watch Canadian comedy if there’s a demand for it.  IFC’s not a bad home for Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town, although I expected Comedy Central or BBC America to blink first.  Nice one, IFC.

Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town will begin airing in August 2010.  Why late summer instead of the fall, I don’t know, but Death Comes to Town isn’t the main draw for IFC in 2010-11.  The Onion News Network is, with zombie horror-comedy Dead Set sliding under the radar.

The Whitest Kids U’Know, Z Rock and Greg the Bunny have built up IFC’s reputation for comedy.  It’ll be quite interesting to see what IFC mounts and/or picks up over the next few years.  If Pure Pwnage and/or Testees end up on IFC, I won’t be surprised.  I think IFC has discovered a new niche.

The Hollywood Reporter‘s Etan Vlessing reports that The Ron James Show has been renewed for a second season.  CBC has also greenlit two new sitcoms, Men with Brooms and Insecurity.

Men with Brooms is based on the 2002 Paul Gross film, which tries to marry curling with blue-collar comedy.  The show will be produced by E1 Entertainment.  Insecurity will be mounted by Vérité Films, the company behind Corner Gas, Incredible Story Studio(s) and renegadepress.com.

The Men with Brooms pickup doesn’t surprise me, but it does bother me.  The film’s not that great, and I’d like to know how the hell a working-class male sitcom can be set around curling.  If Men with Brooms turns out better than a dreary, middle-of-the-road dramedy, I’ll eat Sugar Sammy.

I gave a pass to The Ron James Show‘s premiere, but the show is so aimless.  The Ron James Show has no format beyond “monologue, sketch, monologue, sketch, cartoon segment, Ron James utters polysyllables.”  Does The Ron James Show have a target audience?

The Ron James Show‘s not terrible, but it’s not good enough to warrant a second season.  Its ratings are fair-to-middling.  CBC should have greenlit Guerilla Monsoon and kept Ron James to specials.

CTV will debut its two post-Corner Gas sitcoms, Hiccups and Dan for Mayor, March 1, 2010.  Hiccups, the Brent Butt/Nancy Robertson sitcom, will air at 8:00 PM ET/PT.  Dan for Mayor, Fred Ewanuick’s chance at sitcom notoriety, follows at 8:30 PM ET/PT.  The shows serve as lead-ins for Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory.

CTV’s scheduling of Hiccups and Dan for Mayor is quite logical.  I’m assuming middle-of-the-road humour for both shows, which isn’t a bad thing if either show does well.  At least Hiccups and Dan for Mayor are paired with the right shows on the right night.  Nice one, CTV.

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The Bridge will debut Friday, March 5, 2010 on CTV.  The two-hour debut will air 9:00 PM ET/PT, The Bridge settling into the 10:00 PM ET/PT hour March 12.  Battlestar Galactica‘s Aaron Douglas is the marquee name.  The Bridge is a police procedural told from the union leader’s perspective.

American partner CBS has not yet scheduled The Bridge.  There’s a website, but no airdate.  This has led to at least one article wondering when CBS will air this and 18 Flashpoint episodes.

I might watch The Bridge for URBMN, although cop dramas are to this era of television what westerns are to the early 1960s.  At least CTV’s airing the show.  The Bridge could be Flashpoint, or it could be The Unusuals.  I’ll only judge the show after it airs.

Wolf Canyon (APTN: Really Real Films, 2009) is a bit too generic to be on APTN.  The show is set on a reservation, and Lorne Cardinal plays a role on the show.  Despite this, Wolf Canyon feels like you could rip the “native” decals off and still have the same show.  This is Kevin Sorbo’s show, pure and simple.

Sorbo plays Rick Denham, a washed-up alcoholic actor.  Denham replaces former star Johnny Wilkes, who has found “greater” success as the star of an independent film.  Denham is also director Quincy Paul’s (Matty Finochio) estranged father.

Lorne Cardinal plays Hoyt Talbot Jr., the out-of-it stuntman.  Diane Wesson-Smythe (Nikki Payne) is the executive producer/Amy Poehler soundalike.  Carol Van Gleason (Barbara Tyson) and Samantha Hollis (Jessica Harmon) are the female cobreasts.

Denham and the other crewpeople try to stave off boredom while shooting on the Horse Head Lake First Nation reserve.  Wolf Canyon sets up a troubled production, somehow remaining in syndication despite itself.  Executive producer Allan Harmon cameos as a production executive who has technically cancelled Wolf Canyon, although the cancellation order is buried by the end of the pilot.

Wolf Canyon is a confusing mix of Corner Gas and 30 Rock.  It’s not as funny or biting as it should be, going for a broad gag every so often.  Sorbo playing a drunk asshole is surprisingly effective casting, but Wolf Canyon lacks a distinctive voice.

I’d rather see a full-on pisstake of cheap, syndicated Canadian television.  Shows like Beastmaster, Painkiller Jane and Blood Ties deserve the Kröd Mändoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire treatment.  Wolf Canyon‘s show-within-a-show deserves more air time, as the pilot barely scratches its surface.

Wolf Canyon‘s second episode is currently being written, as APTN mulls whether the show will earn a full season.  Kevin Sorbo has his cadre of fans, so this show’s a lock.  I’m not sure if failed pilots even exist on APTN.

The commercials for Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town (CBC: premiered January 10, 2010, 9:00 PM ET/PT) are uninspiring.  This is Kids in the Hall‘s grand return to television, which calls for the blandest commercials ever.

What the hell are you thinking, CBC?  You have mainstream North American interest at your fingertips, and you get your bland announcer to blithely promote Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town in the same tone as Being Erica and The Rick Mercer Report?  It’s times like this that I miss Bob Boving.  That man knows how to sell shit.

Death Comes to Town, at least in its first episode, is passable.  Even granting that the Kids in the Hall castmembers are in their forties and fifties, they seem at half-ass with Death Comes to Town.  Even Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy, KitH‘s oft-maligned 1996 film, is more memorable.

John Doyle’s drive-by shooting of a review condemns Death Comes to Town as “inept.”  It isn’t, but there’s something off about the show.  Bad segments outweigh the good.

This isn’t unexpected, as it’s been twenty-two years since Kids in the Hall first debuted on CBC Television.  The fact Death Comes to Town has a linear plot isn’t the reason why it sucks, at least so far.  The comedy material just isn’t that strong.  A retarded kid (Rampop, and he’s hilarious) should not be attracting 90% of the funny material.

To be fair, the original Kids in the Hall series had its fair share of shit (those “Steps” sketches, uggh), but Death Comes to Town doesn’t have a killer comedy segment.  There’s nothing comparable to “Crushing Your Head” yet.  Maybe Death Comes to Town will get the bug out of its ass by the middle of the series, as the first episode is all groundwork.

It’s nice to see Kids in the Hall back in some form.  While Death Comes to Town‘s debut episode is disappointing, it’s foolish to expect the comedy troupe to come back as strong as in KitH‘s heyday.  If at least three episodes of Death Comes to Town share the same level of suck, then there’s something wrong.