Space Knights Go! (Teletoon: daCapo Productions/Big Hug Productions/Fatkat Animation, 2009) is one of those rare Teletoon Pilot Project shows directly connected to the man behind the curtain, in this case Loogaroo owner Gene Fowler.  Fowler is a frequent commenter on Canadian Animation Resources.  I’ve even e-mailed Fowler regarding Space Knights Go!‘s development.

Fowler was the owner of Fatkat Animation, a studio that went bankrupt twice in its ten-year history before becoming Loogaroo.  I’m sure Fowler reads URBMN from time to time, or else he wouldn’t have left a comment on an article which has nothing to do with him.

At the same time, I’m reviewing Space Knights Go!, not Fowler’s business practices and online demeanour.  I don’t know what it’s like at Fatkat/Loogaroo.  I’m also sure Fowler can’t resist any sort of publicity, so here’s the review.

This review of Nerdland (Teletoon: Cuppa Coffee Studios, 2008) is rather late in coming.  I wasn’t sure how to review the show, since Nerdland‘s credited writer is Teletoon’s current director of original content, Alan Gregg.

If Gregg is a front for the animators, Nerdland could at least pay a writer to take credit for the script (see: Angora Napkin.)  To be fair, Gregg was at Brown Bag Films when Nerdland was in production, but it still gives Nerdland the inside track for a greenlight.

With Nerdland‘s online popularity and Cuppa Coffee’s track record, a series greenlight might very well happen.  That’s a shame, as the pilot sucks.

This might destroy URBMN’s flimsy ties to objectivity, but I was not looking forward to Drop Dead Gorgeous (Teletoon: CINEMARIA, 2009.)  Mike Valiquette’s review of the show is negative.  When the Teletoon Pilot Project was in its web phase, DDG was just hated by Detour viewers, even more than the puppet-based antics of Les Sansfil/The Wireless Family.

All I have to say is, wow.  Drop Dead Gorgeous is worse than I expected it would be.  I’m not offended by its cheap stereotypes and unfunny humour, per se.  I’m just confused by it.  I can’t pinpoint DDG‘s intentions, other than “is this edgy enough, Teletoon?  Is this edgy enough?  Lesbians, wheee!“

As an experiment this year, I thought I’d liveblog the 25th Annual Gemini Awards.  I livetweeted the 24th Gemini Awards Broadcast Gala last year.  I’m one of the few Canadians to give a flying poop about this sort of thing.  It’s an illness.  I need a woman.  Barring that, I need an excuse to give a flying fig about the Toronto Maple Laughs.

What I’m really looking forward to tonight is Ed the Sock’s This Movie Sucks!, since it promises to be new, but the Geminis make for fun viewing.  The Geminis really are the Bizarro Emmys.  Also, the Broadcast Gala’s 90 minutes long.  Unlike the Emmys, the Geminis don’t fuck around.

I have a personal interest in the Gemini Awards this year, since I’m following two shows in two categories: Pure Pwnage for Best Comedy Program or Series, and Durham County for Best Dramatic Series.

Also, the Broadcast Gala realized it can’t subsist on a diet of Mike Reno and Theo Tams, so this year features Elvis Costello, Feist and some off-key hobo.  Cory Monteith is the host.  Monteith promises to be funnier than Ron James, and Cory Monteith isn’t a comedian.

Granted, the Gemini Awards won’t be cool this year.  The Academy of Canadian Cinema & Television would have to stop giving out 100 awards a year for that to happen.  At least I’m not liveblogging the Genie Awards.  That’s the real dead zone when it comes to Canadian awards shows.

Teletoon’s edging close to the lesser parts of its Pilot Project, now that Ninjamaica (Teletoon: Lenz Entertainment, 2008) has aired.  After this, there’s Celebutard Nation, Nerdland, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Chinatown Cops and Space Knights.  I’m looking forward to none of those pilots.

Granted, I wasn’t looking forward to Ninjamaica until I saw parts of it on YouTube a few months ago.  Ninjamaica isn’t perfect, but I don’t hate it.  If I’m to choose between Angora Napkin and Ninjamaica, I have to take AN, but Ninjamaica has some good qualities.  I honestly never thought I’d say that about a show reliant on a portmanteau.

This is the first of what I hope will be a few reviews concerning the Teletoon Pilot Project.  The Pilot Project, which has currently aired three of its nine pilots, airs every Sunday at 11:30 PM on…well, you can just guess.

Since URBMN is pilot-friendly, I’m attracted to the Teletoon Pilot Project.  I’ve skipped Fugget About It for now, as the review for it was originally bundled with unpublished reviews for The Dating Guy and Archer.  Also, Fugget About It‘s title describes the show perfectly.  I might not get to Fugget About It for a while.

Ed the Sock’s This Movie Sucks! (CHCH/CHEK/CJNT: second season premiered Saturday, September 25, 2010, midnight ET/PT) is one of those “if they find it, they find it” shows common to Canadian television.  Viewers and fans have most likely found new information about TMS! from this CHCH press release and, well, me.  Ed the Sock’s website is still “under construction,” while CHCH’s website is occupied with news and the odd full episode of Sportsline.

That’s a shame, since the second-season premiere of This Movie Sucks! is the best of the series.  There are still production problems – Ed the Sock points out that TMS!’ set is disintegrating in the season premiere.  The TMS! set looks slapped-together to begin with, so curtains don’t make a difference.

This Movie Sucks! has by now become a triad of Liana K, Ed the Sock and Ron Sparks.  Andrew Young’s on-screen role has been diminished by now, and he doesn’t even appear on TMS!‘ second-season premiere.  ”Naked Dave” Ross, so named since he shows his bare torso off in many different costumes, does.

By now, This Movie Sucks! is comfortable in its riffing.  TMS! does an excellent takedown of Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter.  Fart jokes still exist on this show, but TMS! by and large points out plot holes in Jesse James… Quick Draw McGraw can see.

Naked Dave even dresses up as Jesse James…‘s featured monster.  The monster has a bare torso, so that’s his excuse.

Longtime sweetposer.com readers might remember my review of The Master six years ago.  TMS!‘ print of The Master looks exactly like Platinum Disc Corporation’s.  I’m not saying TMS! cribbed the print from a DVD, but it looks washed-out and soft.  CBS Corporation now owns the series, so I have no idea how The Master is public domain.

The Master is awesomely slapdash.  It plays fast and loose with ninja lore, which isn’t surprising for a show starring Lee Van Cleef.  1980s ninja archetype Shô Kosugi is wasted as chief antagonist Okasa.

Hell, in some scenes Kosugi is Van Cleef’s stunt double.  Don’t ask me how that works.  Ask Michael Sloan.  He created the show.  The man had a fetish for ass-kicking older men back then.

Timothy Van Patten, now an accomplished television director, mushmouths his way through lame dialogue as Max Keller.  Van Cleef’s doubles look visibly thinner than the actor himself.  It’s Kung Fu meets The A-Team, right down to the custom-painted van and miscasting of a western star.  NBC would air anything in the early 1980s.

The riffing of The Master is as good as Jesse James…‘ riffing.  Granted, it’s The Master.  Mystery Science Theater 3000 based two episodes around the Master Ninja pseudofeatures this show became.  The Master is a no-brainer to riff.

Also, This Movie Sucks! has Roninja.  Allegedly, this is a ronin whose parents have been killed by the Yakuza Gang.  To that end, the ronin becomes a ninja, fighting crime at night.  Ron Sparks may or may not be Roninja.  Look it up on Wikipedia.

I hope This Movie Sucks! comes into its own this “season.”  The series has pretty much been bashed into shape, much like MST3K was in the pre-Comedy Central days.  I can’t see TMS! “graduate” to a higher budget or Showcase any time soon, but I’ll be happy if the show doesn’t cycle the first six episodes like it has this summer.  There’s only so much one can take of Wild Women of Wongo.

When I published an article about Tangled (CBC: CBC/Shaftesbury Films/Colossal Entertainment/Salient Point Productions Ltd., 2010) last week, I figured it would get a slightly above-average number of readers for a day, then flatline.  Pilot news and reviews generally don’t do well on URBMN, with the exception of B Team.

Tangled is by far the most-searched-for program this month on URBMN.  The article promoting Tangled has 13 comments (not including mine) so far.  Think about it – thirteen comments for a pilot aired in the dead of summer.  I’m usually lucky if one person gives a tinker’s piss about an unsold pilot on CBC, never mind thirteen.

Tangled is the sort of show that fits with CBC’s desired female demographic, yet can also attract a decent male audience.  Aside from the budgetary restrictions that can hobble a show like Tangled, I have no idea why CBC would reject this.  Foreign references are copious, but The Tudors gets away with worse.

Sarah Wayne Callies is Sally or Chloe – it depends on which part of her life one follows.  A sham marriage is planned around Sally/Chloe and Nick Hobbes (Bill Ward.)  Hobbes is seen as a rogue freelancer/former CIA golden boy stealing intel from Sally/Chloe’s employer, the North Atlantic Intelligence Agency (NAIA.)  NAIA is also trying to nail down main antagonist Oleg Gasparian.

Needless to say, there are the twists and turns common to an espionage show.  It’s all familiar stuff, but Tangled at least couches the espionage in proper human drama.  As a pilot, Tangled gives viewers a reason to care about Sally/Chloe’s life, convoluted as it is.

Callies is a bit stiff and monotonous as Sally/Chloe, but serviceable enough as a lead.  Ward plays Hobbes almost effortlessly.  Leslie Hope plays Sally/Chloe’s sister Marlene rather well, understandably miffed that Sally/Chloe has been playing dead for twelve years.  Hope doesn’t have a big part in the pilot, but she makes the most of her role.

I’m not exactly fond of the acting in Tangled.  The acting is a bit underplayed in general, aside from Ward’s character and a few minor characters I can’t name.  At the same time, the balance of action and drama sells Tangled.  Had Tangled made series, I’m sure it would have found its own level.

This isn’t the best pilot I’ve seen on CBC in 2010.  The Cult ranks highest on my list, for its excellent acting and choice of subject matter.  Tangled is still very good, better than the bet-hedging of the concept would suggest.  I sincerely hope Shaftesbury Films sells the series to another network or cable channel.