The Olden Days, When This Site Still Called Itself Unbelievably Retarded

Sunday, November 14, 2004


I've decided to add some comics and non-music-related news to the UR Music News blog 1] purely as a reaction to my disappointment with regards to Seebelow as a going concern (and to all fans of the LJ, I was basically taking a crack at ya anyway - I don't loathe you people, but I've been a Seebelow fan since 2000-01 and I was in that stereotypical hardcore fan mood then) and 2] because that sort of stuff fits in with UR Music News' "poseur-disposing" mandate anyway (also, that's the direction the newsletter took about three days into its run.)  I'll still keep up posting for The UR Blog and all, and I'm still planning on writing for Wrestling Opinions so you'll be seeing more of my work in the near future.  Expect a new UR article, a possible CBC-related collaboration and/or new UR reviews within the next few weeks.

Also, there's a minor redesign of the site's "previous/next" buttons.  An example can be found here.  Yes, it took me eleven months to put a fucking "home" button on my review pages.  At least I update more than Infernal Combustion these days...HA!

One final note: months of using w.bloggar and I just figured out how to put a proper title on my blog posts today.  I'm such a bloody Luddite idiot, aren't I?

Saturday, November 06, 2004


I have decided to no longer post to Seebelow.  Honestly, this isn't a big deal and I'm not treating it as such but I'm just getting tired of that Livejournal community.  It seems like another Calamity Jon Morris appendage and as such I don't seem to fit in.  That, and I really am starting to fucking hate stavner.  Dude, I understand why you're doing the devil's advocate stuff but give me a little more credit than you're giving, huh?

I'm personally getting disappointed in Seebelow's direction, as there seems to be way too much whining about particular people - i.e. Dave Sim, John Byrne and Rob Liefeld - and stupid comics news in general (and the LJ is based wholly on opinion, let's not go into this "facts" stuff) doesn't seem to get covered there.  Personally, I don't understand how some people get so popular (like Calamity Jon, might as well come out in the open) that their opinions seem to gather more responses than mine.  Maybe I'm being too opinionated, weird etc. but I've a small hunch people there liked me more as someone to laugh at.  By the way, I'm not whining; I'm just curious how some people get away with saying what I'd say and not seem negative for it.  Maybe I'm younger and/or don't work in comics.  I think it has something to do with asskissing.  It usually boils down to asskissing 95% of the time anyway.

As for leaving Wrestling Opinions, I'm 50-50 right now on that option.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004


Yeah yeah, my unimportant thoughts about the Bush/Kerry election, it's unavoidable today.  I thought CBC Newsworld did good coverage of the 2004 election, although to be honest I couldn't stand the fact that half of the political commentators and pundits on CBCNW had faces that didn't seem to move at all.  It's weird, like they all had Botox or the lighting was too strong or something.  It irked me somehow - it's weird to watch political coverage while the top half of everyone's face is stuck in the exact same position for hours at a time.  Could you show movement in your face, Peter Newman?  It was like watching Synchro-Vox technology with those guys.  "VOTING AGAINST BUSH WOULD BE LIKE BEING KOOKOO FOR KERRY!  WOO WOO WOO!"

Also, on PoE News there were so many posts from obvious Democrats/Kerry supporters/"intelligent people" about how they wanted to move out of the country, how Bush signified the Anti-Christ or something because Dubya's won another four-year mandate (I'm ready to concede that he has, and sadly, so has John Kerry.)  I hate to play devil's advocate, but what the hell were you twats expecting?  I'm getting a tad bothered by the whinging from Kerry supporters.  Granted, I wanted Kerry to win - Bush has made too many mistakes in the "war on terror" (Iran's furthering its nuclear ammunitions program and Bin Laden's still making assorted threats about killing America by 'bankrupting it' - way to go, dipshit, exacerbate the tensions in the Middle East some more, you puppet) and I simply can't see why people are willing to go along with another Bush term.  Still, why are so many people complaining about a guy who climbed 30 points in polls within the election's lifespan and was a longshot to win the presidency not so long ago?  You bastards were ready to jump on the Howard Dean bandwagon until his "primal scream."  The Dems have had a long history of electing people who were expected to be better Reagan/Bush-killers and failed worse than Kerry did - you jerks forget Mondale and Dukakis so easily.  Bastards, Kerry was your best hope to beat Bush anyway.  Jesus, give 'em an inch and they expect a yard.  Morons.

This is why I'm annoyed with Seebelow, this is why I'm annoyed with theDDT and this is why I rarely ever go to PoE-related places anymore.  I'm trying my best to be a team player with whomever I'm working with, and it's quite obvious at some sites I contribute to people would rather talk endlessly about gossip, overact or hide within their hive mind than think logically about a certain subject.  It's one of the things I hate about the Internet.  If it's just me and I really am clueless and/or obscure and/or a "negative nelly" then tell me, but why does SEEMINGLY EVERY SECOND PERSON ON POE NEWS talk about moving to France or take this election way too seriously?  You don't like America?  Change it.  Get involved with something.  GROW UP.  People that don't take initiative or stand up for what they believe in deserve the world they get.  I don't believe everyone in the left is as bad and/or accepting of radicalist ideals as right-wing pundits make them out to be, but you really are acting more like cartoon hippies every day.  It's enough to turn me neo-con.

Loved Dan Rather's coverage of the election, simply because the man's making comments on par with four years ago.  This may have stiffed on PoE News, but I thought I'd compile the Ratherisms from RatherBiased.com and teevee.org.  He came up with some beauties last night.  I'm not trying to be populist, but let me know if other Ratherisms pop up so I can take all the credit if this catches fire.

If this election gets any closer someone is going to have to call 911, call the police, call the nurse.

Folks, these are the kinds of nights that give campaign managers a case of the hives or something. One reason so many of them drink a lot, because you have these situations in which, you know, you think you got it, you're right there, you're right there, you're close enough to feel it, and then somebody like one of these overpaid television anchor men come up and say you know what, that state may not just be going your way. Well, John Roberts has some stuff for us in his room, but it's unclear to me whether we're going to go to him first or take a break. We're going to go to commercial and then we'll come back and why to John Roberts.

Our coverage continues with Ohio, 'Hey kimosabe, no one knows.'

It's enough to give aspirin a headache.

So in Colorado, Pete Coors gets a silver bullet right through his hopes.

This race is hot enough to peel paint off a house.

Kerry may hear the whisper of the axe if he can't win Ohio.

We're keeping a yellow flag out. A yellow flag, even if it looks like one of the NASCAR cars.

President Bush's reelection is at the door, knock, knock, knock.

His lead is as thin as turnip soup.

If you went to pop the cap on an adult or otherwise beverage, here's what's happening.

I guess you'd rather walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit than concede Ohio...does that make your fingernails sweat?

Both candidates are hoping to do a vote hula dance.

The noose just tightened around John Kerry's neck.

hotter than a Times Square Rolex.

You can hear the sighs coming from Massachusetts all the way in New York.

McCAIN: Thank you Dan. I always believe you.
RATHER: Well, if you believe that, folks, you believe rocks can grow.

This is one of those cases where your mother is right: looks can be deceiving.

We had a slight hitch in our giddy-up there.

Ed Bradley, fair or unfair, if John Kerry doesn't carry Pennsylvania, will it be the equivalent of Death Valley for him?

That will be whooping news down in texas considering that Bill Clinton tried to go in and hold the state with a series of three-point shots.

Democrats almost absolutely positively, teetotally need to hold that seat.

Does he pace the floor, does he hum Springsteen, what does he do?

We're on these returns like white on rice.

New Mexico, land of enchantment. Each candidate is hoping that it would be his land of enchantment.

It won't mean a thing if they don't get that swing.

In some ways, George Bush's lead is as thin as November ice.

Ohio now turns into a sauna for both of the candidates. All they can do is wait and sweat.

This presidential race is hotter than the devil's anvil.

Play a verse of 'Johnny B. Good' for Kerry tonight in Illinois.

(UR-exclusive; might be paraphrasing here) Kerry needs the equivalent of a Tom Brady to stay in this race.

Well, you know the old saying, Bob--don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek. Apparently Joe Lockhart doesn't subscribe to that.

We may need Billy Crystal to help analyze this.

This is more complicated than the wiring diagram for some hydroelectric dam dynamo, trying to figure out the absentee ballots, the people who voted in advance and taking in the exit poll data from today.

I know it's Copley Plaza but we were having a 3,000 calorie attack every half hour as close as this race is.

You know what they say, it takes a lot of votes just to get beat with.

Miss Simmons, my old high school principal used to say, boy the numbers just aren't there.

When you get an election this tick-tight you don't know whether to check your watch or howl at the moon.

Lawyers are swarming over Ohio like locusts. And there are going to be more of 'em there tomorrow, and more of 'em the day after.

Karl Rove came down from what he calls his batcave in the White House - I covered the White House for 10 years, Bob Schieffer covered it for 5 or 6, Leslie Stahl for about 8, never heard of a batcave.

Well, as that old saying, if you try to read the tea leaves before the cup is done, you can get yourself burned. And having been burned once in Florida, you better believe that of all places if we're gonna get singed anywhere, we don't want it to be Florida. And I wouldn't kid anybody about that.

Ed Bradley, wouldn't you say that if John Kerry doesn't carry Pennsylvania, that that would be Death Valley for him?

Anyway, join me tomorrow when I make the case that Peter Watkins was the real man's Michael Moore.  I know it, why don't you?